SOCCER: The theme of the day was shades, but the star attraction needed no movie star props with which to wow the crowd. For hours on end he was meeted and greeted, handled and gladhanded, fondled and ferried.

He was quizzed and questioned. He petted puppy dogs and kissed babies. He made jokes with the media. He small-talked the Taoiseach. He came, he saw, he stayed for the reception.

Roy Keane, immortalised on stage and in screen, hit the genteel southside of Dublin yesterday. Bam! The occasion was the launch of an Irish Guide Dogs funding and awareness campaign which over the next few weeks will encourage the public to sport miniature sunglasses on their lapels, having first made a donation of €2 to get the shades.

Specsavers, a visit to whose premises Keane has suggested to many referees over the years, are behind the campaign, but Roy Keane is the main enforcer.

Good cause, but nevertheless the questions came in an odd ratio. One about the charity, 36 or 37 about football.

Football first. Rumours of Roy's retirement are greatly exaggerated. Alex Ferguson told him so on Saturday.

"In fairness, I just said that I thought my last contract would be just that, the last big contract I would have at United.

"I didn't actually mean to announce retirement, but I suppose when you use the words I used you can't expect it to be taken up any other way.

"Anyway, on Saturday at the training ground the gaffer told me that he would decide who retired and when. That's fair enough."

The hips? Those hips that an entire nation has fretted about? They're fine, better than ever.

"I think this year I've got the balance right between playing and rest. I used to always want to do everything. Now I take my rest properly, I do yoga a couple of times a week - not the meditation sort of stuff (disappointment on the faces of all those who wanted to ask what mantra Keane softly chants), but a version that stretches you a lot. I do it, Ryan Giggs does it and David Bellion does it. It really works for us."

What next? The Roy Keane Diet and Workout Video? Don't rule it out. Apart from the outbreak of civil unrest in the Highbury tunnel, which it seems meant far less to Roy than it did to the rest of the world, Keane is the picture of contentment these days.

The business of his return to the Irish team, his reassimilation, his hopes for the future - or, more particularly - for the summer of 2006, were all brushed aside politely.

"I've moved on with my life," he said with a smile, before outlining the precise gradient of the mountain Ireland have yet to climb before talk of fond farewells in Germany.

Of the I, Keano phenomenon he had heard good things, but wouldn't be sampling the smell of the crowd and the roar of the greasepaint in the near future.

"I haven't time, to be honest. I've enough going on."

If they obliged and brought the production to Manchester? Keano en famille in a box for a Royal Command Performance.

"Well, maybe if I got a free ticket."

It should be.

It dawned on us slowly that he wasn't going to be rising to any bait on this crisp Monday afternoon. The man has his offdays on the controversy front.

Back to more straightforward stuff. Tell us the future, Roy. Will the unfinished business of your last World Cup be driving and inspiring you over the next few months?

"My last World Cup?" he mused with a grin. "1994?"

And that was it. He wouldn't insult Celtic or the Scottish League by announcing that when he was well and truly old and crocked he'd go and play there. To Martin O'Neill's opinion that Keane would never leave United, Keane replied, "Martin is a clever man."

And of the possibility of ever managing Ireland? Well, let's just say that the FAI might be more of a hindrance than a help in recruitment terms.

Finally, the charity. It was a struggle staying on message, but why guide dogs?

"They approached me about three years ago to give a little time and I was delighted. I know there's a lot of good charities out there, but this one appealed to me. I'd like to give more time than I do. Maybe in the future."

That's one side. Why choose Roy Keane as your front man? Well, any other soccer star would have been the bland leading the blind.