Dutch reporter: "What did you think about the state of the Lansdowne Road pitch?" Roy Keane: "It was lovely and green".

"Ah well, you can't have everything."

Still-celebrating Irish supporter after England had gone 5-1 up against Germany.

"I think if you go back years and years in soccer you'll see that if someone needs a goal in the last 20 minutes they just plough it up - it doesn't matter whether it's Brazil or Accrington Stanley, they all do the same thing."

Jason McAteer explaining why Holland abandoned 'total football' in the last 20 minutes on Saturday.

"If he can't find a club I'll bare my backside in Burton's window."

Mick McCarthy on Jason McAteer's transfer prospects. Crikey, someone sign the lad NOW!

"We have a group of players who could have gone very far in a World Cup, but we got knocked out."

Louis van Gaal (above) does a damn good Graham Taylor impression.

"Steven who? I have never heard of him. I don't watch English football as I have better things to do."

Stefan Effenberg, speaking to Sky Sports, ahead of Germany v England in which Steven 'who' Gerrard played a not insignificant part.