"If we have to go to jail we will have to go to jail."

- Liverpool manager Gerard Houllier prepares for the worst ahead of his and Robbie Fowler's appearances before the FA last week. Both escaped jail sentences, although Fowler got a six-match ban.

"I've always fancied him as the final piece of the jigsaw at Dean Court."

- Bournemouth manager Mel Machin on hearing that Zinedine Zidane may move to a club by the sea next season.

"It wasn't so tough playing at Old Trafford."

- Juventus captain Antonio Conte after Wednesday's Champions' League game.

"Dear Edmundo, it's time to stop screwing around."

- Fiorentina coach Giovanni Trapattoni has a word with his Brazilian striker Edmundo, who's been frustrating the living daylights out of him all season, during training last week.

"It was harder to win the European Cup in those days. For a start, you had to win your own League to get into it - not finish second."

- Bob Paisley's widow Jesse, in a speech at the opening of the Paisley Gateway at Anfield on Thursday, referring to her husband's three European Cup triumphs and Manchester United's quest to win one this season. Miaow.

"I'd rather have been watching the Grand National."

- John Aldridge admitting that Saturday's game between his Tranmere side and Barnsley fell some way short of being a thriller.

"Of course it's too much money for a footballer - I've seen shopping centres built for less than United had to pay for me."

- Manchester United's Jaap Stam on the £10.75m fee the club paid for him.

"I consider that footballers in general are not paid enough when you think what football is in the world. You can't say a footballer earns too much in relation to an electrician because there's no comparison. A lot of people could be electricians."

- Wouldn't like to be Chelsea's Marcel Desailly next time an electrician gets at his dodgy wiring at home.

"That shows Alex has a good sense of humour."

- Arsene Wenger after being told that Alex Ferguson regards him as a good pal.

"Thinking about how the goalkeeper feels on the other side, I can't be all that happy."

- Japanese goalkeeper Shigetatsu Matsunaga after he scored with a clearance from his own penalty area past Montedio Yamagata in a JLeague game.

"How can they say there was something wrong with him? He was nothing short of magnificent."

- Ryan Giggs worries about facing a fully fit Zinedine Zidane in the second leg of the European Cup semi-final.