By MARY HANNIGAN
For the love of Troy
WE’VE had a soft spot for Jonathan Greening since his former West Brom team-mate Andrew Johnson said: “When God was handing out brains Jonno decided to have a lie-in. He said to us recently: ‘There are two suns, aren’t there? One here and one abroad?’.”
As if that wasn’t enough, poor old Greening, whose side are rooted to the bottom of the Premier League, revealed last week his son Troy (4), is beginning to have doubts about his Da’s abilities.
“He came home one day and said: ‘Dad, why do all my friends call you a loser?’ ”
But there’s worse: Troy has traded in his Da for an upgrade. “He had all the little football cards at school and was swapping them – I think he had eight of me at one stage. I asked him where they had all gone recently and he said he had swapped them for better players – Gerrard, Lampard. There are none left of me.”
Then we learnt that when West Brom were on Sky against West Ham the other week, young Troy opted to support the Hammers. Bless him, he’s had enough of losing.
Surprising the damage wind can do
IT was only last week we read about an incident involving George Graham when he was manager of Millwall, when the Scot ordered a player he was giving a lift to out of his car after he (the player) broke wind. The player was left at the side of the road as George drove away, while opening his sun roof and all four windows.
We thought of George when we read of an unpleasant incident in a non-league game between Chorlton Villa and International Manchester FC. A Manchester player was shaping up to take a penalty when one of the Chorlton players broke wind – the penalty was saved. The referee promptly whipped out his yellow card, booking the player for “ungentlemanly conduct”, and ordered the penalty be retaken. It was scored.
Fortunately for Chorlton, they went on to take the wind out of their opponents’ sails, winning 6-4.
Quotes of the week
“No one has more lungs than Rooney.”
- Sky Sports’ pundit John Salako explaining how young Wayne’s engine keeps motoring for 90 minutes.
“So much has been said about me – I heard that I was dead.”
- It was a bad week for Inter Milan’s Adriano, but, mercifully, not that bad.
“Deep down Carrizo knows he needs to improve, otherwise he’d be foolish. I don’t care if Diego Maradona picks him, it’s not like a commandment handed down by the Bible, is it?”
- Lazio coach Delio Rossi on his Argentinian goalkeeper Juan Pablo Carrizo.
“What I saw in the first half is, without doubt, the worst football in Bayern’s history. It was a demonstration, almost a humiliation.”
- Bayern Munich president Franz Beckenbauer after a traumatic trip to Spain.
“I had very good support from the older players when I started here. I looked to them for help, just as Federico will. It is very important to behave properly and to be intelligent.”
- Auld man Cristiano Ronaldo offers advice to baby Macheda.
“Mind games are for managers who are affected by mind games, but I don’t understand him (Alex Ferguson) – because he talks in a Scottish accent.”
- At least we think this is what Rafa Benitez said.
“The interesting thing as far as Rafa is concerned is that he had a big European tie coming up and he was talking about Alex Ferguson. That’s fantastic. I didn’t know I was that important.”
- At least we think this is what Alex Ferguson said.
“Replying to Mourinho only serves to feed his mythical status, so I will no longer reply to anything he has to say.”
- AC Milan vice-president Adriano Galliani adopts a “just ignore him” approach to Jose
Things get wurst for Bayern
EVER since they conceded those late, late goals to Manchester United in the 1999 Champions League final at Barcelona’s Nou Camp, Bayern Munich have, understandably enough, had rather negative feelings towards the stadium, regarding it as a touch on the unlucky side for them.
With that in mind, in advance of last Wednesday’s Champions League quarter-final against Barcelona, a reporter from German newspaper Bild decided it was time for a change in Bayern’s luck and, taking matters in to his hands, buried a Glucks-Weisswurst under one of the corner flags at the ground.
The “Lucky White Sausage” – and you might want to look away now – is made of calf meat, pig back bacon, spices and, apparently, magic.
Just in case you missed the result, you might be wondering if the magic sausage worked? Well, Bayern were 4-0 down after 43 minutes, so the answer would be no. The game, you might say, was Bayern’s wurst nightmare.
Did the reporter dig up the sausage and take it home? We don’t know, but rotting calf meat, pig back bacon, spices and magic won’t combine for a pleasant fragrance for the next lad to take a corner from the spot.
Burnley banner
WRESTLING fans in America were a bit on the bemused side recently when a man with a banner squeezed himself in to several shots during live coverage of a WrestleMania event. His banner read: “Owen Coyle is God”.
Coyle, you might remember, won a cap for Ireland in the last century (in 1994, to be exact), but is now manager of Burnley, where he’s making a bit of a reputation for himself.
The man, it turned out, is an exiled Burnley fan, sending his love to the Turf Moor supremo, as they say in the trade.
