By MARY HANNIGAN
Quotes of the week
“You can’t drive a space shuttle and expect not to have pressures.”
– Croatia coach Slaven Bilic – and that was before his team failed to lift-off at Wembley.
“One is powerless to do anything sitting in the stands, one has fleas in one’s pants.”
– Chelsea’s Florent Malouda after being left out of the French team for the game against Romania. Why, though, has he taken to speaking like the Queen?
“To be fair, I don’t get many bookings, I just get a load of red cards.”
– Richard Dunne defends his disciplinary record. Kind of.
“Shunsuke (Nakamura) was a great player, I watched him closely so I could learn from him and he told me how I could become a great Celtic player like him. He told me not to touch alcohol and chips. That was his advice to me – but I tried them one night and I won’t be doing that again. I didn’t feel too great.”
– Celtic’s Koki Mizuno, still feeling delicate by the sounds of it.
Unkindest cut for journeyman Alsop
AFTER a career that took him from Halesowen to Bristol Rovers, Swansea. Cheltenham, Oxford, to Northampton, Forest Green, Tamworth, back to Forest Green and on to Newport County, you might say 36-year-old Julian Alsop fits the “journeyman” bill.
His travelling didn’t end there, though, Alsop returning to Cheltenham on a free transfer at the beginning of August, manager Martin Allen deciding that he, eh, needed to beef up his attack.
“I approached loads of players in the summer to play that role, but I couldn’t afford them,” he said.
“If you go shopping at Sainsbury’s and ask for some fillet steak and you don’t have the money, you can’t buy it. We have ended up with a gristly, old, fatty lump of lard up front, but at the moment he is tasting okay.”
“Gee, thanks,” Julian presumably replied.
Kenny the butt of Blades' wit
AFTER receiving that nine month ban for testing positive for ephedrine, which, alas, was contained in a cough medicine he bought for a chest infection, it’s hard to imagine anything cheering Paddy Kenny up these days. Fair dues, though, according to the Sun his Sheffield United team-mates are attempting to put a smile on his face – by taking to calling him, cough, “Benylin Bill”.
More quotes of the week
“I will resist the urge to write a book, although I think I would sell more copies than JK Rowling. It is a basket-case of a club. Newcastle is either top of the mountain or bottom of the trenches. There is no middle ground.”
– Goalkeeper Steve Harper on the “you-couldn’t-make-it-up” quality to life at Newcastle.
“We are not at the level of The Beatles yet. We are still a work in progress. Maybe at the Hamburg stage.”
– Birmingham manager Alex McLeish, who, you’d imagine, endured a hard day’s night after losing to beloved city neighbours Aston Villa.
“I consider it a mortal sin to not only prevent him from playing, but leave him out of the squad entirely.”
– Former Italian striker Ciccio Graziani doesn’t mince his words as he reckons Marcello Lippi will be in trouble with God for not picking Antonio Cassano.
Bari wary of new American owner
ASSUMING there are no late hiccups Tim Barton will, on October 31st, become the first American owner of a top flight Italian club after he agreed a deal, worth $35.8 million, with the Matarrese family to take control of Bari.
Barton made his fortune from buying and managing luxury properties around the world and it was when he was in Italy on a business trip that he heard the club was up for sale.
Barton, whose Texas-based company JMJ was named after Jesus, Mary and Joseph. “I find it very fitting that San Nicola is the patron saint of Bari and the name of the stadium, I believe he brought me to this city,” he said.
The Matarrese family, though, have been less Christian about the whole business, Bari CEO Salvatore accusing the American of “showing himself off too much”.
“If he intends to direct the club then it’s useless to wait until October. He should move up the closure date. We have a saying that goes, ‘A guest is like a fish, after three days he starts to stink’.” Jesus, Mary and Joseph, indeed.
Even more quotes of the week
"Arsenal have a lot of fans who are not fans . . . they have fans from America and Jamaica. Today they are Arsenal fans, tomorrow they will be Liverpool fans and after tomorrow they will be Manchester United fans."
– Emmanuel Adebayor. And maybe the following day they might be Manchester City fans?
“Fingers crossed, they will get there, but once they qualify it will depend on their mentality. If they go there with the same lacklustre attitude the last time they were in the World Cup – cutting corners on hotels and travel – then obviously they won’t do that well.”
– Roy Keane. Roy? Let it go.
“You would expect them to have a training pitch that’s at least been watered and without any potholes and I wouldn’t have thought they would be getting four connection flights. I don’t think he (Giovanni Trapattoni) will be accusing his players of faking injury a week before the World Cup, either – but that’s just my guess.”
– Roy? Move on.
