ALL IN THE GAME:A soccer miscellany

A VERY nice story appeared in the Sunrecently about Manchester City's Mario Balotelli, the first time in quite a while the fella's had a bit of positive press.

According to a friendly "source" the Italian "is really generous - he always hands £20 notes to the Big Issueboys without even taking the magazine".

And after winning £25,000 (€28,000) at a Manchester casino Balotelli gave £1,000 (€1,250) to a homeless man as he left the establishment.

"The tramp couldnt believe his luck. It was enough to keep him going for months," said the source.

It's a heart-warming tale, it has to be said, but it would have been a bit better for Balotelli if the source had left this bit out of the story: "(The homeless man) was outside the club in the early hours so Mario handed him a wad of notes after his big win."

His City employers' might possibly have deduced that if the homeless man was outside the club in the early hours when Balotelli gave him the money, then, well, Balotelli was outside the club in the early hours too.

2:That's how many hours Darron Gibson lasted on Twitter after opening an account. After a string of rather unpleasant messages (eg "Team do all hard work keeping possession then u hit row Z every ****in time!!") he called it a day. Poor lad.

Sorry? Steaua Bucharest owner sort of starts afresh

YOU HAVE to say fair dues to Steaua Bucharest owner Gigi Becali for attempting to clear his conscience by apologising to everyone he has offended this year – and that list is really rather lengthy (it includes gays, Rapid Bucharest owner George Copos and anyone who doesn’t share the Orthodox Christian’s religion).

So, his apology to Copos? “I’m sorry for what I called him. Yes, he’s cheap, but let God judge everyone, I don’t have to do it.”

Gays? “I apologise to them. It’s their problem, their disease, not mine.”

Miscellaneous religious groups? “I’m sorry to all of the religions, the cults. But I do have my views. Jehovah’s Witnesses are on the way to perdition.”

And with that he declared himself to be “cleansed” and “reborn”. That went well.

“The typical Manc man is called Paul. He has darts in his right pocket and in his left pocket has a picture of a bulldog. The girls are called Samantha. And can you believe they put vinegar on their chips?” – Schalke’s warm welcome to their visitors from Manchester in their programme for last week’s Champions League match.

Word of Mouth

“HE WAS very good, but against 10 it is very easy. I wish I had had the opportunity to play against 10.

– Real Madrid’s Cristiano Ronaldo’s doffs his cap to Barcelona’s Lionel Messi.

“If you pay them the wages they’ll come. We all kid ourselves: ‘I’ve wanted to play for Tottenham since I was two, I had pictures of Jimmy Greaves on my wall.’ It’s a load of bull.

“Here’s £80,000 a week. Lovely jubbly.”

– Tottenham manager ‘Arry Redknapp warning off the badge-kissers.

“Fabregas literally carries 10 yards of space around in his shorts.”

– Ray Wilkins, as quite spectacularly quoted by the Daily Mirror.

“I have sat on the toilet and dwelt on it, and stood at the toilet and dwelt on it. It has never left me.”

– Mick McCarthy, bogged down by Wolves' relegation battle.

"Nobody did what Pele did. Being champion of the world at 17-years-old, won three World Cups, scored more than 1,208 goals, only him. Then until now nobody did this. To me, Pele is the best."

– Eh, Pele, in a bashful interview with CNN last week.

Mourinho's theory of relativity: Make sure to insult absolutely everyone you can

JOSE'S WEEK– "I don't have a magic potion. I simply told my players – they're not my words, they're the words of a chap called Albert, Albert Einstein – that the only force stronger than steam, electricity or atomic energy is human will. This chap Albert was not stupid."

– On getting his players fired up for that Barcelona game. Einstein must be spinning in his grave.

"He has won one Champions League and that is one that would embarrass me. I would be ashamed to have won it with the scandal of Stamford Bridge and, if he wins it this year, it will be with the scandal of the Bernabeu. I hope that one day he can win a proper Champions League."

– On his deep respect for Pep Guardiola's record in the competition.

"It's clear that against Barcelona you have no chance. I don't know if it's the publicity of Unicef, I don't know if it's because they are very nice, but they've got this power."

– He's not paranoid.

"It is a world that sometimes disgusts me to live in and earn a living from, but it is my world."

– Ruling out leaving a career that pays him about, oooh, €25 billion a season.

"If I tell Uefa what I really think and feel, my career would end now."

– So that wasn't actually him speaking his mind last week. If things go badly in Barcelona, Uefa should probably batten down the hatches.

Rangers captainDavid Weir's tribute to the Royal wedding, as embroidered on his shirt for Saturday's game against Motherwell: "Congratulations William Catherine 29th April 2011." On hearing Weir had technically broken the Fifa rule that bans players from making religious, political or personal statements on their shirts, Rangers manager Walter Smith said: "It must have been the kit man." 

Driving force: Ecclestone doesn't feel the QPR love

He might own 62 per cent of newly-promoted Queens Park Rangers, but Formula One head honcho Bernie Ecclestone appeared not quite to be tingling about the footballing side of his life when he spoke to the Daily Maillast week.

"When I do go to football, I leave at half-time – by then you can see which way it's going," he said. "And they close the roads and all that business. I don't want to be delayed for an hour afterwards. I don't stay to have a drink with other directors. I've got nothing to say to them. I don't know what they are talking about."

He must, though, have a special bond with the players after such a successful season? "Actually, if you ask me to name five of our team, I couldn't. There is that guy who scores goals for us – Taarabt.

"Routledge I've heard of. They're all bloody nice guys, but I don't mix with them so I don't know them well. I don't go into the dressingroom. They can walk out of the showers and then I feel I've got an inferiority complex."

And then he insisted he wouldn't buy Lionel Messi for QPR even if "he was available at a bargain price", because "you dont need one star, you need a good team".

His heart just isn't in this football lark, is it?

Who's the pundit in the black? Andy and Wolfie get confused by Real Madrid fans

WE'RE struggling to see the likeness, to be honest, but maybe the red mist effected the eyesight of the Real Madrid fans who confused Andy Townsend for referee Wolfgang Stark after last Wednesday's lively Champions League encounter with Barcelona.

Townsend, who had been on ITV punditry on the night, was having a meal in a Madrid restaurant with Adrian Chiles and members of the crew when he was "spotted".

"Because I still had my Uefa accreditation around my neck they thought I was the referee. To them I was Wolfgang Stark! So I had to turn around and tell them I was from English television. Actually, there's a sinister edge to it – the crowd were baying for the referee's blood."

Did his buddy Chiles step in to calm things down?

"He started calling me Wolfie," said Townsend. That helped.