Gascoigne - as bad as it gets

Paul Merson broke down in tears yesterday as he tried to explain what his friend Paul Gascoigne will have to go through to win…

Paul Merson broke down in tears yesterday as he tried to explain what his friend Paul Gascoigne will have to go through to win his battle with alcoholism.

The Aston Villa forward, speaking with the vivid recollections of a reformed alcoholic, told an England press conference about his relief that Gascoigne had finally decided to enter a drying-out clinic. Four years ago next month Merson was there himself, not just an alcoholic but holed up for six weeks in the South-west London clinic where Gascoigne now seeks salvation.

And when Merson was asked: "Can you give us some idea of the regime Gazza will be going through," the pain came flooding back. "It brings back lots of memories," he said. Then there was silence. And more silence. And slowly it dawned on the journalists assembled around the small table that Merson was crying. The interview ended there. But that moment offered a chilling insight into what Merson went through to beat his demons, and what Gascoigne now faces to beat his.

"I was reading today that Gazza looks to play on Saturday against Blackburn," Merson had said earlier. "He'll be at least six weeks, maybe 10.

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"I know what Gazza will be thinking. He'll say I'm all right, I'm not as bad as what I am. But he won't stop crying.

"You feel as though you've let everybody down, you feel weak and you're self-esteem is low. But I'm well pleased for him. It takes a lot to go that way and say I've had enough, I can't stop drinking. And for him to do that, the hard work starts now."

Gascoigne's decision to admit himself to The Priory clinic came with the full support of his Middlesbrough manager Bryan Robson and followed a recent four-day binge after which he was found sobbing on the platform of Stevenage station, not far from the home of his former wife Sheryl.

"A million people told me I needed help and I didn't listen," said Merson. "But you just get to you rock bottom. And that is what has happened to Gazza. He obviously could not take any more.

"Just look at what he's been through. Thank god I haven't been through a divorce, but people say it is a nightmare. And he does love Sheryl and the kids, I know that.

"Also he missed out on the biggest thing in football, the World Cup." Add to this the recent death of one of Gascoigne's best friends.

But though Gascoigne has finally sought help, Merson still worries. It was the thought of getting back to his wife and children which helped him through the dark days, but, says Merson: "Gazza ain't got much."

Perhaps this is where Gascoigne's beloved football can give him a purpose.

Hoddle had already stressed that the England door was still open for a fully-fit Gascoigne. When the door at The Priory also re-opens, it will be interesting to see who emerges.