The Scottish Daily Record featured the sad tale of one Paul Bradshaw last week. The 20-year-old was up in court for the non-payment of £620 in fines for various offences, but argued that he was unable to work, to earn the money to pay what he owed, because he suffered from chronic fatigue.
"My view is that you are a complete fraud," howled the sheriff, Donald Booker-Milburn, whipping a recent newspaper cutting from his pocket which hailed Bradshaw as man-of-the-match in a Highland League game for Brora Rangers, during which his engine showed few signs of chronic fatigue. The verdict? Bradshaw was given 33 days to pay his fines - if he fails he's going to prison.
PS: Look up the This is North Scotland website, type in "Paul Bradshaw" in the search box but don't tell the judge just how active he has been for Brora Rangers this season (and don't mention his recent two-week trial for Celtic).
"Paul can still play full time on current form," declared Brora player-manager Andy MacLeod. "He's been a revelation for us this season. He is enjoying his game and has matured as a person. If he keeps performing for us, Paul is bound to attract fresh attention." Certainly is.