ON THE COUCH:ITV's commentator could hardly contain his joy as world champions Italy bowed out, writes JOHN O'SULLIVAN
PETER DRURY is an excitable soul. The ITV commentator was positively slathering in delight at the demise of world champions Italy, whose defence of their title came a cropper at Ellis Park, Johannesburg. Slovakia won a cracking game 3-2, in a contest peppered with incident and controversy.
Drury appeared to become completely intoxicated at the prospect of Italy’s downfall; at least that was the impression when analysing the tone of his comments following the Slovakian goals. His reaction to the first goal for the World Cup debutants that gave them a half-time lead was relatively muted in decibel terms to the pitch he would reach when Slovakian striker Robert Vittek scored his and his team’s second on 73 minutes.
“FALLEN CHAMPIONS,” he screamed before raving that the Slovakians had “Italy on the canvas,” and continuing his rant, “they’re (Italy) not just going out they’re going out rock bottom”. There was nothing inaccurate about what he was saying but the relish he injected into his voice underlined a partiality.
It was therefore amusing when Antonio de Natale gave the Italians hope with a goal, reducing the deficit to 2-1 and demanding that Drury offer a more sober overview as he metaphorically sighed “game on, champions not ready to bow out”.
Still Drury’s salvation was soon at hand when the underdogs grabbed a third, the commentator shrieking: “CHAMPIONS ARE GONE NOW BY THE FIRST TOUCH OF A WORLD CUP DEBUTANT. FAREWELL LIPPI, FAREWELL CANNAVARO, YOUR CAREER HAS BEEN TERMINATED”.
We’re not quite sure to whose career he was referring, a World Cup-winning coach or a World Cup-winning captain. Still they haven’t achieved much and were probably better off out of the game, leaving centre stage to quality teams like, eh, England.
Italy, though, weren’t about to acquiesce and Fabio Quagliarella’s wonderful goal in injury-time meant the defending champions had a lifeline once again, however tenuous.
Unfortunately for Lippi and his charges, Pepe’s contortions to try to volley with his right foot instead of a simpler left-foot strike saw a final opportunity spurned.
Released from the shackles of uncertainty at the final whistle, Drury indulged in a high-pitched soliloquy that began with the relatively mild pronouncement of, “ITALY DETHRONED,” before revving up again, “LIPPI DISAPPEARS, CANNAVARO DISAPPEARS; POSSIBLY FOREVER.” It sounds like a case for Interpol.
The game produced its fair share of controversy but with English match officials led by referee Howard Webb there was little doubt on which side Drury would come down. Linesman Darren Cann may well have been right in surmising that Martin Skrtel cleared the ball off the line and that Quagliarella was offside when he netted but the television pictures were inconclusive in the first case and given the absence of daylight between players in the second instance, possibly incorrect.
Patriotic pride demanded Drury defend the subjects of the realm. Words like bravery were bandied about in studio later on. It’s not about being brave, it’s about being right. England’s qualification for the last 16 in South Africa has seen a media smugness make an unwelcome return. The travails of the group appear to be forgotten, judging by Gabriel Clarke’s report from the England camp.
He spoke about getting “a real sense of pride back” and how Capello “had been vindicated in selection” and other claptrap in rose-tinting the win against Slovenia. Clarke then cut to a top table interview with goalscorer Jermaine Defoe which had its own inadvertent comedic element.
Question: “Have you been practising penalties”
Defoe: “Every day. Since Austria” (England’s pre-World Cup training camp).
Question: “Will you be ready if it’s required to decide the Germany game?”
Defoe: “I think so. I hope so.”
He may as well have added: “I don’t know.”
Clarke then turned his attention towards German icon Franz Beckenbauer, who had the temerity to follow up his assertion that England are playing kick and rush football with a suggestion they look burnt out. The ITV reporter gazed at the camera before venturing: “I’m not so sure, Mr Beckenbauer,” while chewing on his stiff upper lip.
Back in the ITV studio the pundits were queuing up to bash Herr Beckenbauer. Former Republic of Ireland captain Andy Townsend was verbally quickest off the mark. After stating that England will beat the Germans he added, “the Kaiser has spent one hour or two too long under the sunbed”. Still at least he’s stopped saying “we” when referring to England.
ITV’s coverage yesterday offered little more than the one-eyed partiality of the terraces or the pub. Perspective seems an alien concept.
Now that the England team has received the kiss of life the British television media seem only too happy to gloat at others’ misfortune, oblivious to the fact that, although conscious, England’s hopes haven’t left intensive care. The crashcart is still outside the door.
