Being bottom was never likely to be West Ham United's natural role this season and on the evidence of yesterday's exhilarating victory over a previously undefeated Newcastle United side they would be ill-served by donkey's ears.
With Tomas Repka and Don Hutchison each making a distinguished introduction in home colours and Paolo di Canio combining his individual idiosyncrasies with a thoroughly-committed all-round performance, Glenn Roeder's side leapt from 20th place to 15th.
Yesterday it was literally a case of distance lending enchantment. For decades Upton Park has always been the intimate cockpit of the English game's more cerebral performances; the crowd could not merely empathise with the players, they could look over their shoulders and read their homework. Now, amid much rebuilding, the action is much further away.
Yet if the bath is being enlarged the quality of the bubbles appears likely to remain the same, not least in midfield. Frank Lampard may now be at Chelsea and yesterday Joe Cole was unfit, but the ease with which Hutchison's experience complemented the maturing qualities of Michael Carrick lay at the heart of West Ham's win.
Once these had achieved an ascendancy over Robert Lee and Clarence Acuna, despite the undying perseverance of the latter pair, the promise of a first win in London for Newcastle since 1997, suggested by Alan Shearer and Craig Bellamy up front and Nolberto Solano and Laurent Robert on the wings, steadily receded.
Bobby Robson summed up the afternoon well enough. "From the moment West Ham scored their first goal to the end of the game they were the better team," the Newcastle manager admitted. The kind of stability which the £5 million arrival of Repka from Fiorentina has brought to West Ham's back four was less apparent in Robson's defence, which again presented itself as a granny knot to be undone by a single tug.
In the 18th minute Di Canio fed Laurent Courtois a short corner on the right and from the Frenchman's centre Hutchison darted through to head in at the near post. Three minutes later a shot from Trevor Sinclair was cleared off the line by Nikos Dabizas and West Ham's lowly position was beginning to look false.
Newcastle, however, might easily have reduced Upton Park's sanguinity by half-time. Before the half-hour only Shaka Hislop's agility in tipping over Bellamy's lob had kept Robson's side behind.
In the closing minutes of the first half Lee, Shearer and Bellamy set up a simple opportunity which was wasted by Robert's miscue. But by the time Acuna watched Courtois clear his header on goal, West Ham had doubled their lead.
The goal came eight minutes into the second half, courtesy of an inspired long, diagonal pass from Christian Dailly which found Di Canio in the sort of situation the Italian relishes, advancing towards goal from the left with one defender, Warren Barton in this case, and the goalkeeper to beat. A shimmy sent Barton the wrong way. The shot beat Shay Given into the far corner of the net. Any lingering doubts about the outcome vanished eight minutes from the end when Hutchison let Di Canio's pass run to Frederic Kanoute, who slipped West Ham's third past the advancing Given.
WEST HAM: Hislop, Sinclair, Schemmel, Repka, Dailly, Winterburn, Courtois (Moncur 87), Carrick, Hutchison, Di Canio, Kanoute (Defoe 83). Subs Not Used: Forrest, Soma, Byrne. Booked: Winterburn, Schemmel, Moncur. Goals: Hutchison 18, Di Canio 53, Kanoute 82.
NEWCASTLE: Given, Barton (Distin 58), Dabizas, O'Brien, Elliott, Solano (Ameobi 76), Acuna, Lee, Robert, Shearer, Bellamy. Subs Not Used: Harper, Bassedas, Lua-Lua.
Referee: P Jones (Loughborough).
