Day 12. It's like when your visiting relations finally leave after staying the week - you're glad to see the back of them but the house feels strangely empty in their absence and there's a teency weency part of you that almost misses them. Yes, England are out of Euro 2000 and, as Billo Herlihy put it yesterday, all we have left to look forward to now is "a week of style and substance" at the tournament, as opposed to the Neville brothers.
It was nice to see, though, that there was no scapegoating of Phil Neville after he gave away that penalty. Well, apart from the Daily Mirror headline (Neville's Suicidal Lunge Dumps England Out) and Ron Atkinson's ITV commentary ("aaw NEVILLE, that is TOTALLY idiotic - you can't do risk football like that"). And Eamo Dunphy's remark that Charlie McCreevy is the "Phil Neville of Irish politics", as if the young full back hadn't been abused enough. Apart from all that, though, no one blamed the man who is no stranger to conceding goofy lastminute penalties in ginormously massive games (see 1999 FA Cup semi-final replay v Arsenal). Still, it hurt. "It's obviously very sad and disappointing and devastating" as ITV's Bobby Robson put it, hinting that he found the result unsatisfactory.
"Neville's tackled with his non-quality foot, if you like, which is his left foot," Bobby explained, adding that "we haven't one player in the squad with a left foot". Hopping mad, he was.
Over on the BBC Davo Leary was focussing on Sol Campbell's defensive weaknesses. "Sol gives me the impression that for all the dominance of what he is and the amount of money that people are asking for him, he likes to be pulled around the place," he said. Yugoslavia v Spain (and Slovenia v Norway). John Motty Motson warned us that all but one of the countries' previous meetings had only produced one goal. Ninety seven minutes and seven goals later we were chanting "lies, damned lies and statistics" in the living room. Glorious stuff.
Half time. "Dazzling," said Motty. "Tasty," said Gary Lineker. "Sensational," said Al Hansen. "Breathtaking," said the same Al. True, it was a bit good. Second half. Ninety three minutes gone and Spain are losing 3-2. The final whistle goes and they've won 4-3. And there was you thinking Manchester United had the patent on this class of carry-on. Chippy Brady was distraught for Norway. "I am so pleased they're going home, they're stopping the clock as far as football is concerned," he said.
France v Holland (and Denmark v Czech Republic). Who said this: "I love the sensuality and sexuality that emanates from leather, it multiplies one's sensations tenfold"? No, not Johnny Gilesie - Emmanuel Petit. He didn't make the French starting line-up for the Dutch game because they showed off by playing their reserves. As Ron would say, "you can't do risk football like that". France lost. But when Zidane and Co come back they'll play football that multiplies one's sensations twentyfold. Who needs leather?
