You know that you're out of the loop when you start feeling sorry for Sarah Palin, writes ANN MARIE HOURIHANE
SOME OF us are feeling sorry for Sarah Palin. You know that you're out of the loop when you're feeling sorry for Sarah Palin, just as you know you're out of the loop when you cannot follow The Wire- mainly because you can't hear The Wire- and are finding it increasingly difficult to care.
You know you’re out of the loop when last week’s opinion poll on the state of the parties was published, and everyone was shocked by the fact that Fianna Fáil had an approval rating of 17 per cent, but you were shocked that the opinion pollsters were able to find that many people who approved of Fianna Fáil.
Feeling sorry for Sarah Palin is another thing altogether. But in all conscience you have to feel sorry for anyone who has been spied on by teenagers. This is quite a large proportion of the population, much larger than 17 per cent, given the prevalence of teenagers and their reluctance to move out of home – or indeed their bedrooms.
Teenagers have very high standards for grown ups and are constantly disappointed by adult behaviour, hair styles and hypocrisy. They are also stone cold sober (in daylight hours at least), and not one bit busy.
They make perfect spies.
But not all teenagers have the opportunity to share their observations with Vanity Fair. Levi Johnston, Sarah Palin's daughter's ex-boyfriend, has done exactly that.
Your reaction to Levi’s allegations depends on whether you would prefer to think of Sarah Palin as a sincere yet fanciable hockey mom whose geography was a bit shaky, or as a frustrated diva, ready to tell any lie in order to get on to the international stage. Personally I prefer the second scenario – it’s kind of like All About Eve, but with embassies.
During the American presidential elections Sarah Palin presented herself as a fairytale mom. It was amazing how many real-life moms fell for this. Sarah Palin appealed to moms all round the world – they were relieved that someone who knew what they were going through was running for high office – and a lot more people besides.
But the thing is, and Levi’s traitorous interview reveals this very sharply, that the image Sarah Palin sold to the American people and to the rest of the world is actually impossible to maintain in the real world.
There is no such thing as a superwoman. For years Sarah Palin had been a full-time politician (well, fairly full-time, as we shall see) with perfect hair and make up.
It cannot come as too much of a surprise to most of us to hear, from Levi Johnston, that the adults in the Palin house, Sarah and her husband Todd, do not cook. This is very common in houses where both parents are working – everybody knows that.
It was more surprising to hear that the woman who sold herself as the hockey mom only attended 15 per cent of the hockey games. And, most damagingly of all in the eyes of the American right, she didn’t know what type of gun she had, or even how to hold it. Although you must love her for keeping the gun under her bed, like an old suitcase or a box of summer shoes.
All of this is according to Levi, of course, and the bit about the children having to clean and get themselves to school doesn’t sound great. However, Levi also said a lot of things that were designed to be damaging to Sarah Palin and simply were not.
The fact that Bristol frequently said of her mother “I hate her” will not come as news to anyone with a passing acquaintance with teenagers, or their mothers.
The idea that Sarah Palin came home early from work, spent hours in the bath and then watched women’s TV in her pyjamas is kind of endearing.
She seems to have been rather bored with her job as governor of Alaska, and who can blame her? It must be boring, and Sarah seems to have been made for showbiz, not reading the small print on drilling contracts in Wasilla.
It is also fascinating that she used to send Levi and Bristol to the local Taco Bell to get her favourite, the Crunchwrap Supreme. This is what happens when people do not drink or smoke.
Is getting into your pyjamas and watching TV any worse than playing a round of golf at the end of a working day? Or going to a bar for a drink at the end of a working day? Hardly.
It was not unusual that a mother would weep on hearing that her 17-year-old daughter was pregnant. It’s not unusual to try and keep drug dealers out of the labour ward, even when the drug dealer is the other grandmother of baby Tripp, Levi’s mother, Sherry. Oh, we started off with Julie Andrews and we ended up with Joan Collins. Teenagers aren’t the only ones with identity issues.