On February 14th each year we remember Valentine, a saint of the third century AD. That he was ever associated with romance between couples in a special way is not proved. However, there has been a tradition going back to the time of Chaucer of observing a day in the middle of February because birds are supposed to pair then!
It is lovely that each year a day is set aside to give attention to that vast and supremely important area of our lives: romance. In prayer we give thanks for the gift of love between people. We value it in the adventure of courtship, marriage, family life, friendship, and all worthwhile associations with others.
It is inevitable in an association between people that things can go amiss. We pray for those who have to deal with sad memories, with disappointments, and with the loneliness of bereavements through estrangement in life.
It would be a pity if our observance of the day was confined to the sending of light-hearted cards - cards that by their nature do not dwell deeply on the seriousness and sacredness of romance. A "Valentine" wish that obviously shows deep and sincere caring is profoundly satisfying.
Those who are worried about things in their romance or marriage may be craving for someone to whom they could talk in strict confidence - someone who would understand and respect their deep anguish, and share it. Preparation courses for marriage are available, as are marriage counselling services. It can be harmful and often dangerous to refuse help, and to try "bottling up" things for too long.
In these days one can understand how a couple who have fallen in love and plan to get married are nervous about going ahead when they see so many broken homes, and a world where lasting loyalty in friendship has become unfashionable. It would be hard to find anyone these days who would be unable to tell of broken marriages or friendships among their friends or relations.
The saintly and scholarly Basil Hume, Cardinal Archbishop of Westminster, was recently interviewed on television about the effects of modern society upon the Church. A fall in the numbers attending church services and vocations to the sacred ministry were on the agenda. He recognised that such a decline in numbers is due in all likelihood to the decline of faithfulness in society. He pointed to the unchanging faith and faithfulness of the church constantly witnessing through all the changing scenes of life.
A tonic to our faith is to repeat a phrase in the Creed: "His kingdom will have no end"; or to repeat the confident words of a hymn:
Crowns and thrones may perish,
Kingdoms rise and wane,
But the church of Jesus
Constant will remain;
Gates of hell can never
'Gainst that church prevail;
We have Christ's own promise,
And that cannot fail.
St Valentine would agree: that is the source of true romance and lasting love.
W.W.