THE MAGPIE:A JAPANESE author has come up with a novel way of promoting his novels while at the same time (a) helping readers keep their book shelves empty and (b) occupying readers while they are on the loo.
Koji Suzuki, who writes horror stories and whose latest addition to his Ring cycle is a ditty titled Drop, has published the "book" as a toilet roll.
According to his publisher, Takaki Hayashi, the nine-chapter story is set in a public toilet and tells a story of a goblin living in the jacks. It thus plays on long-held Japanese superstitions that the smallest room in the house is haunted. Naughty Japanese children are frequently warned about the hairy hand that will emerge from the toilet bowl and seize them if they misbehave, dragging them down to the dark waters below.
The loo roll novel repeats every 86cm and is printed complete with authentic looking blood splatters. Each roll costs about €1.50. Nice . . . not
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MEANWHILE IN New York, the Naked Cowboy has launched an ambitious bid to run for mayor. “No one knows how to do more with less than yours truly,” said Robert Burck, who entertains tourists around Times Square. “And that’s the kind of thinking I plan on sharing with my fellow New Yorkers when you elect me.”
The tattooed Burck said he plans to make an official announcement at his regular haunt. Dressed in just a cowboy hat, boots, and white underpants emblazoned with “Naked Cowboy”, Burck earns about $1,000 (€700) a day busking.
He aims to run against Mayor Michael Bloomberg, a billionaire and Wall Street whizz hoping for a third four-year term. His only supposedly real challenger, the little-known city figure William Thompson, has so far struggled to be heard.
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THREE ITALIAN nuns in a hurry to see the pope found themselves in hot water with the police. The three, Sr Tavoletta (56), who was at the wheel of their Ford Fiesta car, and her two unnamed passengers, aged 65 and 78, were hurrying towards Pope Benedict XVI’s holiday home after learning that he had broken his wrist in a fall when they were stopped by police for speeding at 120mph.
When questioned, Sr Tavoletta admitted: “We had heard how the Pope had fallen over, and we were on our way to make sure he was OK.”
The nuns were just an hour’s drive from Pope Benedict’s summer chalet at Les Combes, having jumped into the car on hearing that the pontiff had slipped in the bathroom and had fractured his wrist – news which caused great consternation at the nuns’ Salesian convent.
Sr Tavoletta is not showing much in the way of contrition as she intends to appeal her €375 fine and month-long ban.
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COLOMBIAN POLICE on the other hand have thrown in the towel . . . over the matter of the late Pablo Escobar’s escaped hippo, whom they had hoped to execute.
They have decided instead to try to relocate the beast after its mate was shot dead by order of the government, sparking outrage from animal rights groups.
The pair were imported from Africa and put in Escobar’s private zoo but escaped in 2006 to live in the wild near the Magdalena river in northern Colombia, causing concerns about local public safety.
The hunt for Madilda, who gave birth to a calf in the wild, was proving very controversial until Bogota-based beer company Bavaria offered to bring in animal protection experts from South Africa and Tanzania to find the best way to care for the surviving hippo and her calf.
This offer was gratefully accepted by the authorities. The zoologists will also deal with the two dozen hippos still living at the zoo.