Offers in the mail have a charitable flavour these days – except if you are trying to sell the family jewellery, writes ORNA MULCAHY
HAVING AN aversion to opening the post these days – too many envelopes with windows in them – I almost missed a nice letter from Christie’s inviting me to consign jewellery for an important sale coming up in London in December, in time, no doubt, for Russian oligarchs to treat their wives and girlfriends to a stocking-filler or two.
It’s a fairly open invitation so if, by any chance, you discover a ruby the size of a pigeon’s egg while clearing out the attic over the weekend, you know who to call. The auctioneers’ suave and charming valuation team will be in Dublin next week to meet, personally and confidentially, anyone who wants to have their trinkets appraised, in the hope that a) they might be worth a fortune or b) they could be flogged to help the owner pay off some debts.
Not personally being the owner of a velvet roll containing gems that might once have belonged to a tragic princess, or any signed pieces by, say Cartier, Asprey or Harry Winston (which apparently do particularly well at auction), I will not be able to take up the invitation. Granny’s garnet ring just wouldn’t make the cut but the Christie’s representative in Ireland, Christine Ryall, tells me that there has been a good response to the mailshot so far, particularly from people who have had their jewellery valued in the past, and who are now either determined, or resigned, to selling.
“There is going to be a better uptake than last year,” she says, adding that last year, before the country fell apart, jewellery owners came along for the valuation but with no intention of selling. This time around, Christine says, they are more in a mood to sell. “Some people need to sell suddenly, while others want to sell so they can buy something else,” she says.
However, she warns that jewellery valuations can be a shock to the system, too. What she calls high street jewellery often just does not hold its worth. “It’s like a car,” she say regretfully. “Once you buy it, it starts to devalue.” In other words, those diamond earrings or tennis bracelet bought with a bonus in the good times, are worth far less than was paid for them, like so much else in our economy.
On to the next letter which looked friendly enough – no window that is – but which turned out to be from the bank after all. AIB’s managing director, Robbie Henneberry, is writing to explain that the bank wants to improve its customer service and so is going to carry out market research. Pity the researchers, who will almost certainly get an ear-bashing from customers who have either lost their shirt on the bank’s shares, or who are being treated like Bernie Madoff when they go looking for a loan. At least there is a silver lining in the letter. For each person who agrees to be interviewed, the bank will make a donation to either the Children’s Sunshine Home or the Barretstown Gang Camp Fund. The last time the bank set out to do research with us, we were offered a cheap-as-chips alarm clock by way of a thank you. I much prefer the charity option.
Let’s hope that other decision-makers are following suit, and channelling money towards charities when cutbacks elsewhere might have been putting their services under strain. It seems that this might be happening out there in corporate entertainment land. One event manager tells me that he is devising a day out with a difference for a large company that wants to reward its managers, but in a meaningful way. Whereas in the past that might have meant a weekend away with golf for the men and spa treatments for the women and a motivational speaker after the free bar and the gala banquet, this year it will be different. The executives will be brought to a care centre where team building will involve weeding and planting the garden and decorating some of the rooms. Less paint ball, more paint wall, you might say.
The next letter in the pile was from the Dublin Simon Community asking us to pledge €50, or whatever we can afford to help disadvantaged people in the city, and this is an invitation you just don’t say no to. The charity could be in line too, if Denny gets its way. The sausage makers are looking for homes to film for an advertisement about their award-winning snorkers.
Hold on though, before you reach for the phone, thinking that it’s about time your gleaming Noughties kitchen (2020 should see the Aga paid off), started earning its keep by appearing on TV. There is no appearance money involved. Your kitchen may get used, but the fee money will go to the Dublin Simon Community instead. It could be argued that some owners of splendid kitchens need a financial dig-out as much as any charity these days.
Sadly, kitchens, like cars and tennis bracelets lose value the minute you buy them, which is something worth remembering when the next boom comes along.