I READ that Mr Ned O'Keeffe TD believes Cork could be "the California of the south".
If its rich tradition as a marketing centre were fostered. Yes, and no reason why Leitrim could not be our Montana, Limerick our Alabama and Roscommon our Wisconsin; Mayo, with its wide open spaces and occasional secessionist tendencies, might be Texas, and Galway, if it could tone down the colour, might well rival Las Vegas.
All that's needed is the will, and a good deal of hard work.
Right. Sir Charles Powell, former private secretary to Margaret Thatcher, has expressed his displeasure at the decision by Tony Blair to use first names only at Cabinet meetings: "I regret this new informality. The Cabinet is the highest institution of our government, for Heaven's sake, not a tennis club."
I do not know if or in what establishment Sir Charles plays tennis, but in my club, I am glad to say, the highest standards of formality are maintained at all times. There is no question of members addressing each other by first names.
Quite rightly, no allowance is made on this issue, not even for married couples. Any infringements are first referred to the Standards Committee, which then issues a verbal warning to the offending party. If the offence is repeated it becomes a matter for the Disciplinary Committee, made up mostly of old Army hands who are not to be trifled with.
That is the way things should be. I need hardly add that tennis apparel in our club must be predominantly white, line calls are made on an honour system, sporting cries of "hard luck!" and "damn fine shot!" are expected regularly, handshaking is mandatory at the close of a match but congratulatory kissing is frowned on, though allowance is made for some of our more exuberant members. Bad language warrants instant suspension, and racquet abuse is unheard of.
But behaviour in British political circles (I cannot speak for the quadrilaterals) has left something to be desired of late. Language has suffered. "Formality" in the House of Commons last Monday, as evident in the attack by Ms Anne Widdecombe on Michael Howard, did not preclude the most bitter insult (nor should it).
Ms Widdecombe, the former prisons minister, accused her former boss of having "an exquisite way with words" (yes, I mean accused) and said he was "a man whose first reaction to attack is denial and semantic prestidigitation."
All right, I had to refer to the dictionary, too, but was not greatly surprised to learn she was in effect accusing Mr Howard of lying.
Sir Charles Powell should surely regret this new formality more than the rather harmless business of using first names.
Earlier last week Ms Widdecombe alleged that there was "something of the night" about Mr Howard. This was more enlightening. She was backed up in her assertion by Mr John Marriot, former governor of Parkhurst Prison, who spoke of Mr Howard as follows: "This Darth Vader of politics ruined my prison career, and I must confess to the odd unChristian feeling of thoroughly enjoying his current discomfiture."
Even more interesting was Mr Howard's reaction: "I was not quite sure what to make of Anne Widdecombe's assertion that I am dangerous stuff and that there is something of the night in me, but I gained the strong impression that her words were not intended as a compliment."
If there was anyone left who did not know that Mr Howard thinks himself a rather superior fellow, this piece of mockfunny snootiness will have made it very clear.
Mr Howard might have done better to treat Ms Widdecombe's allegation as a compliment. Whatever about being called Darth Vader (a quite successful baddie after all), Mr Howard should not necessarily be ashamed of having "something of the night" in his personality. At least it suggests that he has a recognisable and potent personality, even if the potency has vampiric qualities.
To really deflate someone like Michael Howard, Anne Widdecombe might have done better to accuse him of having something of the mid morning, or perhaps the early afternoon, in his makeup.
On the other hand, to accuse him of having something of the cocktail hour in his personality might backfire, and bring glamorous backing for Mr Howard, and possibly the wine bar vote in the Tory leadership election. {CORRECTION} 97052100036