Sir, – As a taxi driver and a victim of some of the “celebrations” of the new university and college term, may I offer some advice to partying students starting or returning to college?
1) When hiring a taxi, it is not generally a good idea to stand in the middle of a busy road, frantically waving your arms above your head. This behaviour almost always results in a refusal, or worse.
2) When travelling in a taxi, please retain the contents of your stomach, and for that matter, your bladder, until the journey is finished.
3) When partaking of an illicit drink in the back of the vehicle, please try to imbibe the liquid rather than pouring it directly on to the floor. On the same subject, removing empty cans and bottles when you leave the vehicle shows admirable courtesy.
4) Female revellers – Please try to remain upright when in public view.
5) Upon arrival at your chosen nightclub, please refrain from engaging in long discussions regarding who owes 50 cent, or such like, towards the fare and subsequently disgorging the equivalent of the dregs of a slot machine in the lap of the driver.
I could go on, but perhaps some input by the lecturers and parents of this bright new generation might be to more effect. – Yours, etc,