Madam, - One of the few advantages of growing old is that you can have the benefit of long experience. When I was a young woman, it was still taboo to have a child outside marriage, and most young women who did get pregnant hid it as far as possible. However, among my friends, I was privileged to be considered a support during those difficult times.
Recently I was asked by a 20- year-old what I would say to a young woman who became pregnant unintentionally. This set me thinking about the fates of women I had supported when I was 20 myself. While this is only my experience, it is illuminating.
One friend, a woman from outside of Ireland, and with none of the Catholic guilt that assailed many of us Irish, gave her child to adoptive parents. She never, never recovered from that decision, and she became very self-destructive, to the point of ending her own life.
Another friend reared her son, cut off from her family, and in very difficult circumstances. She has serious psychological issues, including addictions, which have impacted very negatively on her child.
A number of my other friends had abortions. They are now, 30 and more years on, in more stable relationships, with fewer psychological issues. This was helped by having children, but even among those without children, they are better able to cope.
Of course, having an abortion is not a positive option. It was simply that it was the less awful, horrific, of two negative options. - Yours, etc.,
BRID CONNOLLY,
Maynooth,
Co Kildare