Madam, - The Celtic Tiger may have brought money to Ireland but it certainly hasn't brought class. The dismal decline in manners, the insane habits of some citizens, the irritating idiosyncrasies of others, and the daily manifestations of absurdity have driven me to the state of mind where I would rather spend 40 years in a convent where Mary Harney is mother superior than put up with it all any longer.
Nowhere is this mania more evident than on public transport. Tourists have no need to go to Dublin Zoo when a journey on a bus, train or tram will bring one into contact with the most jaw-dropping creatures Ireland has to offer.
I have witnessed people jumping, hopping, and swinging on seats with the casual indifference of jungle monkeys. Every day I have had my own private show of Ireland's most amazing specimens, from the man with incredibly vocal gum-popping abilities to the chap who cracked and spit nuts into a plastic bag for the entire journey. Often, too, I have been treated to a chorus of expletives from the teenagers of Dublin, keen to show off their charming vocabulary.
I am also convinced that a disturbing proportion of Irish young people do not know how to use a knife and fork. I eat out regularly, and I find it extraordinary to see 16-, 17- and 18-year-olds eating with about as much finesse as stone-age hunter-gatherers.
Anyone with a bright business mind would do well to open a finishing school here. The recruitment officer would have little difficulty finding potential students.
Finally, though many would accuse me of sounding like a cantankerous octagenarian, I must ask if it is not a preposterous paradox when we have people who strut down thoroughfares in their Gucci and Versace gear- which is all well and good - but have the etiquette of arborial orang-utans? - Yours, etc.,
SEÁN ALEXANDER SMITH, Aiken's Village, Sandyford, Dublin 18.