Sir, - I am writing on behalf of that (financially and socially) endangered species, the Clare hurling supporter. All season, we have religiously followed our hurling heroes with the manic fervour of a flock of seagulls chasing a loaded trawler. We have had our wallets "hoovered" by the GAA, CIE and B & B fraternity and have, unwittingly, achieved a united, 31county Ireland under the new ABC banner (Anyone But Clare). Even an ageing Offaly team seem to acquire the manic energy of a bull on Viagra at the sight of the saffron and blue.
All of this, combined with the vagaries of Jimmy Cooney's watch, has left us Clare dragoons living on a diet of drip-feed Valium and anti-depressants, suffering from chronic high blood pressure and low spirits. And a large proportion of us have lost our faith and have had a serious falling out with St Anthony.
I would, therefore like to make a passionate plea to the GAA that it make an immediate submission to Brussels for Area Aid Support for the Clare supporters. Just enough to cover two meat teas in Mother Hubbard's, a night in a damp Drumcondra B & B and a ticket for the sheltered end of Hill 16.
I suppose we were warned that it was never going to be easy. - Yours, etc.,
Gerard Kelly,
New Quay,
The Burren,
Co Clare.