A chara, – How can the GAA keep the crowd off the Croke Park pitch after the All-Ireland Football Final? 1. Announce an outbreak of suspected swine flu in front of Hill 16. 2. Invite the crowd to an open air debate on the pitch about (a) Nama (b) Lisbon 2. 3. Get both the Taoiseach and Tánaiste to say that it’s safe to run around the pitch. 4. Tell the crowd that all pubs in Dublin are closing at 6pm. 5. Arrange for patrons in the corporate boxes to walk around the field dispensing free advice on investing your money. 6. Inform the crowd that the first 10 people on the pitch after the match will be shortlisted to manage the Dublin footballers next year. 7. Play the match in Thurles. – Is mise,