Sir, - Poor Tom Humphries. He decided to use his column of May 18th to launch what he no doubt regarded as a blistering attack on himself magazine. Funnily enough, as the editor of the principal target of this ill-judged and poorly researched piece, it left me with a warm glow all over. It has, already I'm sure, boosted our healthy sales figures.
Tom refers to the "nipple count" in the magazine. Open it, Tom. How many nipples? None, that's how many. On the other hand, the "glum-count" in Tom's piece - the number of times he uses the word "depressing" - is four.
The reason he is so sad is perhaps because he says he works in the "overwhelmingly male-dominated" environment of The Irish Times Sports Department. The ratio of women to men in the him- self production team, on the other hand, is three to one in favour of women. Let me assure you that all of them are strong, talented, independent-minded women. If they don't object to the magazine they work on, I don't see why uber-feminist Tom should. Maybe it's because they are reluctant to wear the frayed robes of off-thepeg feminism. Tom, on the other hand, is happy to continue wearing what he's wearing, having turned down the chance of a fashion makeover from himself because, in typical ivory-tower fashion, he thought my offer of such was a little jape perpetrated by his colleagues.
But what has really upset Tom is the fact that his advertising department accepted an advertisement from himself for the cover of last Saturday's sports supplement. Maybe Tom wants to personally censor every advert carried by his employer?
Resignation would seem to be the only course of action for such a high-minded individual. And Tom, when you do resign, give us a call, we don't bear grudges and I promise I won't make you cover topless darts. - Yours, etc., Daire O'Brien, Editor, himself,
Crofton Road, Dun Laoghaire, Co Dublin.