History of Ireland in 100 Excuses

A chara, – 237. I do have my homework, Sir, but it’s still in the pen. – Is mise,

A chara, – 237. I do have my homework, Sir, but it’s still in the pen. – Is mise,

BRENDAN KEENAN,

CBS, Synge Street, Dublin 8.

Sir, – 238. They ran out of cement, Sir. (Dundalk CBS 1972, student in class 2E on being asked why the canals terminated at the Shannon) – Yours, etc,

GABRIEL MATTHEWS,

Blackrock, Co Louth.

Sir, – 239. The cows held me up, Sir (Country lad’s excuse for being late in 1974). – Yours, etc,

CONN Ó MAOLDHOMHNAIGH,

Carlow College,

College Street, Carlow.

Sir, – 240. The cow was calfin’ (Kerry schoolboy who missed a day in 1988). – Yours, etc,

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JACK O’REGAN,

Mazeras Road,

Nairobi, Kenya.

Sir, – 241. Had I a spoon, had I? – Yours, etc,

STEPHEN GANNON,

Letterfrack,

Connemara, Co Galway.

Sir, – 225 (February 15th) was not an excuse, it was a reason. It was my uncle whose hat was chased, retrieved, and returned by those kind boys from class 5B in Synge Street in 1952. He regrets the delay in thanking them but has been extremely busy (242) attending to matters of national importance. – Yours, etc,

DECLAN FITZPATRICK,

Coolevin Road, Dublin 8.

A chara, – 243. You have quoted me out of context. 244. It’s just the way the cards fell. 245. Dúirt bean liom, go ndúirt bean léi! 246. He would have been the best farmer in the parish only for the drink! 247. It was the drink talking. 248. This American multinational has decided to set up in Ireland because of its dynamic workforce. – Is mise,

MICHEAL PIERSE,

Rue Des Bains,

Antibes, France.

A chara, –   249. The Troubles. 250. Everyone speaks English anyway. 251. Businesses often seek to minimise their tax burdens. 252. It  seemed like the right thing to do at the time. 253. My client has never been found guilty of anything. 254. The banks misled him. 255. The Vatican acted in good faith. 256. The matter is being dealt with by the Tribunal. –   Is mise,

CATHAL RABBITTE,

Im Walder,

Zollikon, Switzerland.

A chara, – 257. I was entitled to it. – Is mise,

JAYNE DORAN,

Arkendale Road,

Glenageary, Co Dublin.

Sir, – 258. I swear, Ma, I was on the pill. – Yours, etc,

JOHN GLEESON,

Lucan Road,

Chapelizod, Dublin 20.

Sir, – 259. We don’t want to upset our American friends. – Yours, etc,

JOHN O’DRISCOLL,

Ballyjamesduff,

Co Cavan.

Sir, – 260. We’re going for just one drink. 261. We’re leaving after this pint. – Yours, etc,

BRENDAN O’DONNELL,

Kilcolman Court,

Glenageary,

Co Dublin.

Sir, – 262. The mocks are always marked harder. 263. I thought the sign was in mph. 264. Those scales couldn’t be right. – Yours, etc,

PATRICK CAULFIELD,

Annagh, Ballyhaunis,

Co Mayo.

Sir, – 265. If you’re buying. – Yours, etc,

PETER PALLAS,

Beech Hill Court,

Donnybrook, Dublin 4.

Sir, – Thank you for the great read (Irishman’s Diary, February 9th and correspondents since). 266. That special price is today only. 267. They are all getting one. – Yours, etc,

GERALDINE O’BRIEN,

Kill Abbey, Deansgrange,

Co Dublin.

Sir, – 268. The economists recommended it, the accountants supported it, the best available legal advice was sought, the auditors said nothing, it was considered best practice at the time, the majority of commentators in the news media were in favour, there was little if any opposition, and it’s all the EU’s fault anyway for assuming we were capable of managing our own affairs – they should have known we weren’t up to it and stopped us! – Yours, etc,

HUGH Mc BRIDE,

Derrylea,

Castlebar,

Co Mayo.