Madam, – Following on from Tidy Towns, may I invite your readers to support a sister competition which might have an even greater impact on the Irish environment – Turdy Towns?
As a dog-owning expat on a brief visit home, I’ve been disgusted by the abundance of excrement that decorates the country and the apparent complicity of councils to do nothing about it.
Following my holiday in counties Dublin, Wicklow, Galway and Clare, I would not hesitate to nominate Greystones, Co Wicklow as by far the Turdiest Town. Greystones wins by a country mile – to be precise, the first mile of the cliff path towards Bray. Between the picturesque 8ft security fences that line the walk around yet another defunct building project, the walker here is obliged to stare at the ground rather than gaze at the scenery, as he or she tip-toes through hundreds and hundreds of dog defecations.
While individual dog owners must take most of the credit for this award, Wicklow County Council can also take considerable pride in its failure to locate a single dog waste bin all the way from Greystones train station to Bray seafront. The foreign visitor to this former beauty spot – and there were dozens on the day I visited – can only conclude that the fine folk of Greystones don’t give a faeces about their locality. As a Dubliner, I can’t help but observe the irony of how the affluent and their effluent seem content to live cheek-by-jowl.
In these straitened times, if Wicklow county councillors can’t afford the train fare, I’ll be happy to buy them a one-way ticket to Bray, to see how it can be done well. I hope they enjoy the walk back to Greystones. – Yours, etc,