Sir, With respect to Leslie Craven of Essex, I would like to inform him and all other moaners, begrudgers, whingers, watchers of Sky TV, eaters of cornflakes and baked beans, connoisseurs and drinkers of Australian wines, hypocritical knee benders, glorious, pious and immortal journalists, and cute doors everywhere, that had Patrick Kavanagh's poetry been deemed good enough at the time then he would have won the equivalent of £630,000.
Had it not been for Seamus Heaney's arrival in Dublin then masses of fellow Irishmen would never have heard the name of Patrick Kavanagh at all, at all. If Leslie Craven is upset and concerned at "Poor Paddy" (a condescending English expression for residents of Ireland) not having received 630,000 far things, then he should organise a few fund raising events for his next of kin or for Sister Ethel in South Africa, instead of joining the never ending list of timid, tea drinking cross legged wailers.
Finally, I should warn Leslie Craven that statues or effigies in Ireland have never worn rueful smiles. Admittedly, on quite a few occasions, they have winked shed blood, and even moved, but as far as rueful smiling goes, never Our effigies take their work very seriously.
Long live Seamus Heaney and those of us who respect his great talent. Yours, etc. Church Street, Downpatrick, Co Down.