Madam, – The proposed project to locate the Abbey Theatre at the GPO would certainly facilitate site-specific stagings of Samuel Beckett's novel, Murphy. Following Neary's headbutting of the statue of Cuchulainn's buttocks in the post office, the audience would be able to promenade directly to the theatre toilets to witness, in situ, the flushing down the bowl of Murphy's ashes. All without the need for umbrellas or additional expense to the taxpayer. – Yours, etc,