HEY diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon. . The rhyme will never sound the same again to Ms Mary O'Byrne of John Street, Wexford.
She became the unwitting victim of a heifer who was willing to jump over the moon and anything else that got in her way in order to escape the slaughterhouse. In its story, "Crazed Cow Runs Amok", the Wexford People reported that a heifer on its way to an abattoir smelled blood and went wild, leaping over a seven foot wall into Ms Byrne's garden. Ms Byrne "was preparing to make tarts in the kitchen of her home when a 12-cwt. heifer came crashing through the window over the kitchen sink and onto the floor.
"It butted her in the back and she stumbled before making a hasty exit out the door, uninjured but suffering from extreme fright."
While Ms Byrne escaped through the door, the bleeding cow was forced to jump back through the window in to the garden, where the owners tried to calm her down by bringing three other heifers on to the scene.
As previously reported in The Irish Times, drinkers at a pub on Inis Oirr, the smallest of the Aran Islands, were subjected to an even more unbelievable sight when a garda disguised as a backpacker" caught three of the island's public houses in breach of the licensing law. The Connacht Tribune reported that Garda Sean McCole went "undercover" to Inis Oirr in the guise of a tourist complete with tent and backpack, which contained his uniform. Pitching his tent, he then went on a pub tour. At 12.55 a.m., he saw about 60 people in Padraic Conneely's pub, some with full pints.
Garda McCole returned to his tent and changed into his full uniform and returned to each of the pubs later.
The Connacht Tribune continues: "It was 2.20 a.m. when he returned to Conneely's pub, where people were still drinking outside. At that stage, the court was told, Conneely got very aggressive because he didn't recognise Garda McCole as he had just been posted to Kilronan and didn't believe initially that he was a bona fide garda.
Their disbelief was understandable because it was the first time that the Inis Oirr pubs were prosecuted due to the difficulty of patrolling the island from the Garda base on Inis Mor, the newspaper told us. All three pubs were fined.
THE Midland Tribune seemed as confused as anyone in its report about a north Tipperary bog which is alleged to be the subject both of EU grants to preserve it, and EU grants to cut it up in turf and sell it.
"The Office of Public Works (OPW) was allocated in the region of £300,000 of EC money to purchase and conserve 70 hectares of Clonfinane bog...
"Meanwhile Premier Peat Products were allegedly given a grant of £16,000
of EC funds from Tipperary to cut turf from what is another disputed section of the bog," the newspaper stated. Locals are still trying to figure out whether the bog is to be preserved or not. The OPW was standing by its proposal to have the bog designated as a "natural heritage area", although it admitted that the bog not yet been deemed "an area of scientific importance".
The Donegal Democrat was hoping that national attention would be drawn to the problems of Donegal during the "titanic struggle in store" for those contesting the by-election called to fill the seat left by the late Neil Blaney. With one week to go before nominations are closed, three candidates have already declared their intentions to run: Fianna Fail's Cecilia Keaveney, Sinn Fein's Pat Doherty and Labour's Senator Sean Maloney.
They will soon by joined by at least two others - the late Neil Blaney's brother, Councillor Harry Blaney, of Independent Fianna Fail, and one of four candidates from Fine Gael, where "there appears to be some disarray within the party ranks at the moment". It's going to take "a new willingness to co-operate to ensure their eventual candidate, whoever that is, stands a chance," the Democrat said.
THE Western People reported on the Mayo Association's plan to erect a 300-foot tower in honour of Mayo-born Land League founder Michael Davitt in Dublin's O'Connell Street. Twice as high as the old Nelson's Pillar, it would have a viewing platform on the top with a revolving restaurant overlooking the city. The EU would be asked to kick in £2 million of the construction cost. Dublin's Mayo-born Lord Mayor, Sean Dublin Bay Loftus, supports the plan, the Western People told us, adding that the association regards its proposal as "deadly serious".
Deadly, maybe. Serious? Well, that will be for Dublin Corporation to decide. The group is currently seeking outline planning permission for what it regards as its "architectural contribution" to the capital.