It was an odd-looking sort of thistle, grown, all unseen behind a cultivated gorse in the garden, to the dimensions of a hefty gooseberry bush. It was burdock, arctium minus; the leaves were large and grey-green, the thistle heads are said to have given the idea to the inventor of Velcro fastening, for the hooked bristles of the "burs" clamp them to any rough surface they come in contact with, including each other. Richard Mabey in his comprehensive Flora Britannica, says that modern children have returned the compliment by nicknaming burdock "the Velcro plant".
The chief concern of the woman who owned the garden was that small birds have been known to become entangled in the sticky thistles and thus either to die or become prey for larger predators as they struggled. The man with the spade, who was going to uproot the bush, looked forward to getting down to the roots, which make, he said, a nice non-alcoholic drink. Just cut up the skinned roots in water. The things you don't know. But don't go looking for burdock and attempting to make this drink yourself. You might be wrong. He might be wrong.
Shakespeare, the country boy, knew the burdock. In Troilus and Cressida he has Pandarus saying "They are burs, I can tell you, they'll stick where they are thrown." And also references in Lear and As You Like It. And Mabey tells us of one of the most extraordinary and elaborate plant-based rituals in Britain. It is the Burry Man parade held in Queensferry, Edinburgh on the second Friday each August. Over suitably protective undergarments of flannel, pre-prepared panels, each of five hundred or so burs are fitted over his entire body and over a mask covering his face. It is like being covered in chain-mail. His hands are free and he wears shoes or boots. Around his waist a folded Scottish standard and here and there flowers are stuck.
He walks awkwardly with arms outstretched holding on to two staves, and men on each side keep his balance right. Outside the Provost's house, he gets whiskey through a straw. And more later. A colour photo shows this odd man. Mabey speculates that the green man may be playing the part of a ritual scapegoat, wearing a sort of hair shirt on behalf of the community. The herbal books tell you burdock is used in modern drugs for skin and digestive troubles. The Japanese cultivate the plant as a vegetable. Mabey said young shoots, peeled, taste like new potatoes. Others write of asparagus. Be careful.