SACHA BARON Cohen's Brünohas done great things for Brunos everywhere. Years ago, Bruno was either a dog or a brand of pipe tobacco. Then along came your man, the lederhosen-wearing Austrian fruitcake.
And now, step forward a new Bruno, Bruno Kammerl, another loon from the German-speaking part of Europe. If you don’t think he’s a loon and want to waste a few minutes, take a look at him via http://www.megawoosh.com/
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TO SERIOUS matters.
Police in Shanghai are trying to cope with problems arising from the number of women leaving the country to have cosmetic surgery. The problems arise when they return . . . ’cus they are unrecognisable.
Officers facing the challenge of processing people who look nothing like their passport photos reached new heights recently when 23 women returned to the city together after visiting South Korea, looking completely different from the way they looked when they left.
The travellers had bigger eyes, higher noses and slimmer chins than the women in the photographs.
“After they took off their huge hats and big sunglasses following our request, we saw them looking differently, with bandages and stitches here and there,” said Chen Tao, a Shanghai airport officer. “We had to compare their uncorrected parts with their photos very carefully with our eyes and machines.”
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MEANWHILE IN Australia, police in Adelaide are baffled by a series of . . . cucumber thefts. There have been 12 separate cucumber heists during the past three months, the most recent involving 150 bags on Tuesday night.
“We’re looking at the possibility that it may be a grower that’s had a failed crop and he’s substituting through theft,” said Chief Inspector Kym Zander. “Or it may be, you know, somebody that knows cucumbers are being grown, they’re ready for picking, and they’re taking the cucumbers and then selling at those weekend markets across the metro area of Adelaide.
“It’s certainly a unique theft . . . It’s obvious or evident that it is somebody in the know to establish which glasshouse is growing cucumbers, tomatoes, etcetera. Next morning and when the growers turn up with their vehicles the glasshouse is bare.”
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A KENYAN man has offered Bill Clinton 20 cows and 40 goats in exchange for the hand of his daughter Chelsea in marriage. Godwin Chepkurgor (39), a former councillor from Nairobi, told the East African Standardnewspaper it was the second time he had made the offer.
Chepkurgor made his offer during a recent visit to Kenya by US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton when she spoke at a public forum at the University of Nairobi.
Mr Chepkurgor is already married. However, polygamy is permitted in Kenya so – technically – Chelsea could become his second wife if the Clintons take up his offer.
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AND FINALLY, a range of luxury ice cream has been developed – just for dogs. The frozen yoghurt treats come in three flavours; Panting Peanut Mutter, Oaty Pawfection and Chase Your Tail Cheesecake.
The Frost and Hound desserts have been developed by pet nutritionists at pet food company Wagg Foods, of Topcliffe, North Yorkshire. They are made from natural frozen yoghurt as well as yucca extract to help reduce odours from flatulence.
Also hidden in the ice cream are dog biscuits.
The product is still in the development stage and is being tried out by some pets. Creators hope to have it on the shelves in time for next summer.
Nicola Purcell, whose three-year-old chocolate Labrador Lawrence was one of the first to try the ice cream, said: “I love ice cream and Lawrence will always pester me and ask to lick out the tub; he won’t stop until he gets his way. This is the perfect solution to a hassle-free night in front of the TV.”