RITE AND REASONHow the questioning that flowed from Vatican II caused one young Roman Catholic priest to change denomination and later become a senior Church of Ireland figure, writes Dermot Dunne
IF ONE is to enter into a reflection on a faith journey, the obvious place to start is the beginning. The immediate question is where a faith journey begins.
Faith, by nature is cradled. One doesn't come to faith without first of all being influenced by the lives of those who were important at the nurturing of life.
For me being born into a family with seven siblings and a resident great aunt has had its influence. I was the third youngest and therefore at the middle of the sibling age range. It is a truism to say that those who are in that middle position in a family are often to be found to be of a more sensitive nature, absorbing all the emotions of typical family life and being the arbitrator of minor feuds and arguments between siblings.
It helps to have lived in an environment that was happy and typical of any average Irish family of the 1960s. Faith questions were never an issue.
It was routine on Saturdays to have shoes polished and Sunday clothes prepared in readiness for the following day's ritual of going to Mass, Sunday lunch, a family walk and then relaxation until bedtime. The Sabbath was always strictly observed in the same way every week. Everything was safe. Our beliefs were guaranteed, everything was given and we didn't have to ask questions but just follow along and the prize was salvation.
The context of our living in faith was changing dramatically around us. Vatican II was in full swing.
Having trained as an altar boy and learned the Latin responses for two years, the first day I served at the altar the Mass had turned to the vernacular. The priest faced the people and eventually the church was reordered in line with the contents of the constitution on the liturgy.
The change was dramatic, to say the least.
Seeing the marble from the great High Altar of the church dumped outside felt an abomination.
If it was a shock for me as a young boy then, it must have been the shattering of a known world for my parents from which they never recovered.
Now they began to question. The level of questioning was fundamental: "What do we believe anymore?", "How can a church which hasn't changed its practices for centuries now engage in change?"
The excitement of the fathers of Vatican II did not filter down to the pews. It was more of a sense of disillusionment.
This was the beginning of a child faith growing into an adult one not just for me as a boy but also for adults. The safety was waning and now real faith could be explored.
By default, questioning parents breed questioning children and I give thanks that I should live in these times.
Recently a dear friend commented that the more he lived the less he believed, but what he did believe he really believed. This is the result of a lifelong exploration of the fundamentals of faith when the encrustations are stripped away and the essentials are revealed.
That fundamental question of who God is and how he or she is mediated in the world is one that spans our whole existence and one which will never be fully answered until we come face to face with the divine presence. Can faith be fully defined or is it a living movement between what we experience and what has been revealed in scripture?
Seminary life put expression on my questioning rather than give answers. In the living of my priesthood the experience of touching people's lives in their happy and tragic moments and the essential use of ritual at the marking stages of life from birth to death put flesh on how God is mediated in the world.
What was emerging for me is that we are not called to be "other worldly" but actually to live fully in this world and to value humanity and the world that God has created.
The decisive moment for me was to admit that God is mediated through our acceptance of an inclusive humanity where there can be no exclusions.
This inclusive humanity embraces the fullness and beauty of human sexuality from one end of its continuum to the other and the full participation of the woman as well as the man in the celebration of the life of faith.
For me to be truly Christian is to be truly open to the workings of God within me without being bounded by denomination. It is being brave enough to ask questions and being willing to travel in directions that may lead to places where we never dare to go.
I have found my spiritual home where I can continue to ask questions knowing that they will never be fully answered.
• The Ven Dermot Dunneis Archdeacon of Ferns and Rector of Crosspatrick and Carnew Church of Ireland parish in Wexford and is Dean-elect of Christ Church Cathedral in Dublin. He will be installed in May.