MAGPIE:THE ASSOCIATION for British Travel Agents and Thomas Cook have compiled some research looking at the silliest complaints lodged by holidaymakers in the UK. They include concerns about sand being too white, anger at the sea being too full of fish and feelings of inadequacy on seeing an aroused elephant. One man was envious that the three-bedroom apartment rented by his friend was "clearly bigger" than his own one-bedroom place.
Another couple were frustrated that it took them nine hours to fly back to England from Jamaica when it only took the American travellers a mere three hours to get home.
One Briton complained that the £3.50 pair of Ray Ban sunglasses bought from a street vendor proved to be fake, another that his travel agent had failed to tell him to wear swimming trunks for his trip to a water park, while another tour operator was criticised for not informing a traveller that mosquitos bite.
It goes on. According to one man there were too many Spanish people in Spain and and another felt that too much curry was served in restaurants in India.
* * * * *
A COMPUTER programmer from Finland who lost his ring finger in a motorcycle accident has had it replaced with a USB drive. Jerry Jalava has built a special prosthetic finger which contains computer storage for photos, movies and other useful files.
The prosthetic finger looks like a normal finger but he can peel it back from the “nail”and plug it into the USB slot on his computer, he explained.
“It is not attached permanently in to my body, it is a removable prosthetic which has USB memory stick inside it.”
“When I’m using the USB, I just leave my finger inside the slot and pick it up after I’m ready.”
* * * * *
AN ART student in England has given herself three months to find a husband – as the final project for her college course.
Alex Humphreys (23) is taking a visual communication course at Leeds College of Art and Design.
She began her “Husband Project” after becoming disillusioned with casual dating and, so far, has 150 prospective suitors. In June, she must present a body of work to examiners to complete her course. She hopes it will include a marriage certificate and a real man as well.
“I’d been single for too long and didn’t want to end up a spinster,” said Miss Humphreys.
“I wanted do to a big concept art piece for my final project and so I put the two things together.
“ I’m serious about finding the man I wake up next to for the rest of my life and marrying him before my course ends in June.”
* * * * *
MEANWHILE, A woman in the US has been ordered to appear in court after calling the police three times because a McDonald’s restaurant had run out of Chicken McNuggets.
* * * * *
IN A bid to protect children from sporting disappointment the English Football Association has been urged to introduce a “mercy rule” in youth soccer that would result in games being stopped if a team opens up a nine-goal lead.
* * * * *
IT BRINGS a whole different meaning to Blowing in the wind – but Bob Dylan is reportedly making himself unpopular among his Malibu neighbours because of smells from a portable toilet on his property.
They complain that sea breezes blow nasty smells from the loo, used by employees of Dylan’s, including his security guards.
Cindy Emminger, whose house is directly behind the toilet, says the smell has made her and her eight-year-old son ill because they are both sensitive to chemicals and have allergies.
She and her husband even went as far as installing five industrial-sized fans to blow the smell back at Dylan, but it didnt work.
“It’s a scandal,” Mr Emminger told the Los Angeles Times. “Mr Civil Rights is killing our civil rights.”
* * * * *
GERMAN TWIN brothers arrested on suspicion of stealing €6 million worth of jewellery and watches from KaDeWe, Berlin’s largest department store, have been released because police cannot prove which one did it.
The 27-year-olds had been accused of the daring theft in which the robbers are thought to have abseiled into the shop through a skylight after scaling the side of the building.
“From the evidence we have,” said a court statement, “we can deduce that at least one of the brothers took part in the crime but it has not been possible to determine which one.
Investigations are continuing
. . .