LAST WEEK it was announced that the television phenomenon known as Big Brotheris to be axed, on the grounds that it has outlived its usefulness. But the Rose Of Tralee will never die.
The Rose of Tralee could quite easily be an opera, but instead it is a television show that is exquisitely modern. Never is the backbone of the country so carefully presented, so tanned and so smooth as it is every August when the Roses assemble.
It may be a light entertainment programme watched by more than three-quarters of a million people, but it is also more accurate and up to date than the news. This year it even brought us our very own Nama Rose.
The Nama Rose was Susan Roe, from Dublin. She was the last Rose, not of summer, but of the evening. Like many of the other Roses – and, indeed, like her boyfriend, who was sitting in the audience – Susan was born here, and her parents emigrated. Susan is now a trainee solicitor with Arthur Cox. “Arthur Cox is one of the leading Irish firms,” said Susan, who will go far.
Ray D’Arcy, who played a blinder as competition host, raised a point which others have commented on – that Arthur Cox solicitors is representing both the Department of Finance and Nama, as well as some of the larger banks, a situation that to non-lawyers might seem to carry with it a teeny bit of conflict of interest. Susan, a lovely young woman dressed in loganberry taffeta, didn’t turn a hair. This was common practice among the larger law firms, she said.
“We operate a system called the Chinese wall system,” she explained. “So the way that works is that one team would represent one client and they’d be on one floor. And another team would represent another client and they’d be on a completely different level. And they really do, obviously, respect the ethos of the client’s confidentiality. So it’s very strictly enforced, with security tags and everything. So we do a very good job.”
Ray D’Arcy asked her whether she thought that we’d be hearing more about Chinese walls. Susan continued: “Well, I mean it’s a great honour for our company. It means we’re very highly regarded within the country, so it means a lot. And it’s a great place to train, and I believe some of the Arthur Cox girls are here tonight.”
There were distant yelps from the audience when Ray called out "Hello to the Arthur Cox girls." Shortly afterwards Susan Roe sang Memoryfrom the musical Cats. "I love West End musicals," she said.
Some of us have long suspected that RTÉ was being run by the Spanish film director Pedro Almodóvar; our conviction grew at the beginning of the summer, when Miriam O’Callaghan’s chat show was on. But last week we realised that Pedro Almodóvar is running the country; first of all there was controversy over the pre-signed Mass cards, then there was the Rose.
Pedro Almodóvar is a Spanish film director, possibly a genius, who observes the grotesquery of female ritual with both ruthlessness and love – he is a gay man, after all. Film critics say that Almodóvar has created his own universe, which is characterised by melodrama, hidden passions and family secrets. But we can see that Almodóvar has simply recreated Ireland – in Spain.
The Rose of Traleeis pure Almodóvar. For instance, there is the strictness and the strangeness of its respectability. For example, it is notable how high the level of Garda involvement in the competition is, and always has been. Not only is the band of the Garda Síochána present; in the past the crown itself has been won by beautiful female gardaí. Over the years the parents of many Roses seem to have been gardaí, as is the father of this year's winner, London Rose Charmaine Kenny, who is a detective garda.
Then there’s the goodness of the girls – the South Australian Rose gave a short speech about her job as an occupational therapist, working with the mentally ill. “I’m in their homes almost daily,” she said, evidently used to a health service that gives a damn. Let’s hope her plan to live in Ireland never comes to fruition, or the poor girl will die of shock.
There’s the relaxed atmosphere. “I could say something now but I won’t” said Stephanie O’Dwyer, the Kilkenny Rose, as Ray donned rubber gloves to assist at the scientific demonstration which was her party piece. “Don’t say anything, we’re going out before nine o’clock,” said Ray.
In fact, Stephanie is a science teacher who explained that her students – well, ex-students, she said – were in a nearby pub. She had hired her dress. And, due to the cutbacks, her late mother had had to accompany Stephanie when she was bringing nine pupils on a school-trip to Dublin last January.
There was the charm of the Australian girls, one of whom, the Queensland Rose, was a biomedical student and part-time wedding consultant whose hobbies were snowboarding and the Eurovision.
Pedro, there is a whole film for you right there. It would take you a long time to come up with something as wonderful as the Nama Rose. It took us a long time too.