BY fortune or otherwise, I have established beyond doubt that a certain type of polar bear does perspire. This is something I found out in the wilds of Co Wicklow. My association with the Great White Bear, or what my dictionary terms as a "heavy, partly carnivorous, thick furred, plantigrade quadroped", is quite recent: although in this case, a heavy, partly carnivorous, balding biped is nearer the mark.
You see, just following orders, I presented myself at Ardmore Studios as an "extra" in the filming of an advertisement for some new product. I was greeted by a slightly bewildered production staff, who did take great care of us extras as we were rigged out, temperature notwithstanding, in our chosen apparel.
Variation was the order of the day, including beach and bed wear, and Stoneage to Edwardian clothes. It wasn't until a bit later, when the wind began to bite, that I acknowledged the advantage of my polar bear trappings. The previous evening's socialising had turned into a hard night.
Inhospitable Climate
A word of caution should be entered here for the uninitiated who may wish to become involved in such work. An immense portion of time is spent just watching the technical crew rigging and re rigging the cameras, lights and set. The one or two full time actors among us hid away from the inhospitable climate, miraculously appearing at the start of a "take" signalled by the raising of the director's hand. Those of us green ones among the "extras" stood around, intrigued, frozen and otherwise, waiting for some activity, however brief, to occur in the bitter chill, heated only by arc lamps, I was very well off with my furry thermal over wear. However, there were a couple of stalwarts, including a man of senior years, running, or posing as a Greek warrior, while wearing swimming togs for godsakes.
About the only thing that was not frozen was an ornamental "pond", which was cunningly lined with a mosaic design lino. Neither was there any need to fill it with water, as the cunning film crew had put shards of mirror in the "pond" to give off a watery reflection.
To make things worse - some might say, challenging - the director would get the notion to amend the original shoot. Subsequently, the whole take would be repeated. However, hot coffee in paper cups was always available, though keeping the coffee in the cups was, for shivering extras, equally "challenging".
Dry Runs
Time after time the director would have these "dry runs", for it is ultimately his responsibility that things "gell". The rest of the cast were togged out somewhat differently, as we waited interminably for each "shot" to be set up. The set seemed to be sited around a collection of several artificial Roman or Grecian pillars which, like the schedule, were moveable. Plastic, plywood, endless cables, timber and paint were as obvious and various as the cast. It was a good example of commercial efficiency that film crew types were on hand, with dressing gowns, advice and patience.
The people who started all this, the Lumiere brothers in Paris, gave their first public showing of a moving film lasting 20 minutes. That was just a little more than a century ago, in 1895, and the decades since have witnessed dramatic changes in cinematography. The first film to incorporate sound starred Al Jolson in 1926, while the first film to be made here was The Lad from old Ireland. Its success resulted in a few more being made here, including The Coleen Bawn and The Shauchran.
Regular Supply
In my youth there was a fairly regular supply of Gael Linn works, one of these being Mise Eire, which most school kids in the cities were trooped off to view. As far as we were concerned then, the expedition was merely an excuse to skip lessons. However, in retrospect, our sponsors purpose may well - perhaps too well have been served by such factual education. Internationally famous films made in Ireland include Henry V starring Sir Laurence Olivier, The Quiet Man, with John Wayne and Maureen O'Hara, and there was The Blue Max made over Weston airfield in Co Dublin. But it is John Huston's Moby Dick which stands out in my mind.
A part of film work which, most people don't comprehend - me included, till my recent sojourn as a bear - is the complexity of special effects. This can include scenes with, say, the creation of space vehicles, as in ET or dinosaurs as in Jurassic Park, which might seem more complex than the monster ape in King Kong.
In those days, two 60 foot monsters were made, one to be kept as a spare. Such duplication and staging was a very costly and awkward exercise, until superior technology, along with a fresh approach, brought about relative simplicity.
When I have an apparently insoluble situation to cope with, I tell myself to "reverse it". This notion must have struck the makers of King Kong for, they eventually scrapped their wire controlled monster and created a toytown for their human sized ape to prowl around in. A would be monster named Gorgo gave a few Dalkey locals some employment and laughs a few years ago, during the making of a film of the same name. Gorgo was some kind of a misplaced Loch Ness monster which, like his cousin at Ness, seems to have gone underground. Maybe some bored Scot will dig him up one of these days.
Incidentally, the end user of the embryo commercial I told you about is, we were told, some brewer or distillery with a new product to launch soon. I don't suppose there are any free samples going for a poor, deprived, hairless bear?