Dear Seamus Brennan, -I write this letter with some trepidation, for in as much as I understand politics at all - which is very little - I suspect that Ministers prefer policies that have been untouched by journalists' grubby paws.
Indeed, there are probably platoons of civil servants whose only job is to read newspaper columns so they can plot a course for the Government which steers clear of any of the nasty little archipelagos of opinion which have appeared in print.
Politicians don't often say this, for it would profit them nought, but they don't like us very much, and they consider our comments trite, ill-informed, sanctimonious, and ephemeral. Fair enough. But on the rarest occasion, we might just be right.
Minister. Attend carefully. The Red Cow Roundabout is a national catastrophe waiting to happen. It's too late to take action to prevent some of that catastrophe occurring; but it's not too late to take ameliorative steps that might dampen down the worst of what will otherwise ensue. But believe me, unless action is taken, the Red Cow Roundabout is about to put a noose around the commerce of the Republic; and it will, as inevitably as an 18th-century hangman, slowly throttle it.
Or maybe it'll happen with terrible swiftness. But it will happen. Believe me, it will happen. For the RCB is the point of conjunction for traffic to and from Dublin and its docks and Cork and Limerick; the point of conjunction for traffic to and from the north-eastern industrial belt of Ballymena, Belfast, Newry, Dundalk and Drogheda, with Cork and Limerick; to and from Dublin Airport and Cork and Limerick; to and from the N7 industrial estates, Dun Laoghaire port and Dublin Airport.
All this would be insane enough without the addition of the Luas hub to the RCR. The most congested roundabout in Europe, with traffic-flow obligations way beyond any conceivable powers that it could ever possess, is to be linked with a light tram service whose primary duties will be six miles away, along the quays of Dublin.
Hence this State - and almost all parties in the State, for apart from the kneecappers and the tree-huggers, you've all been in power during this long march to disaster - is giving to the Red Cow Roundabout a decisive authority over much of the traffic in greater Dublin. And that's even before the addition of lorried traffic to Dublin port, most of which will be able to enter the port tunnel only via the RCR. One stadium-sized traffic island will have the power to choke the commerce of the capital - and it will assuredly do so, Minister.
Why is a political storm not building up over this? Is it because everyone's a little bit guilty of negligence and myopia on this issue? Is it because all parties went for the cheaper, short-term options of roundabouts rather the more expensive and visionary solution of flyovers and lanes to merge and separate traffic? Is it because everyone's embarrassed at the flagrant Paddy factor in all this? Or is it because no party leader is acquainted with the RCR?
Enda Kenny lives in Mayo. Bertie Ahern lives in Dublin. So does Pat Rabbitte. So does Trevor Sargent. So, actually, do you, Minister. So maybe the RCR has probably not impinged on your consciousness. Or maybe it has, and the problem of tackling it seems to be just too immense, so you all hope it will go away of its own accord.
Minister, it will not. We are heading into a long dark tunnel, and at its end there is no light, but yet another darker tunnel. If we are to ensure that there might be a light at the end of that, now is the time to act. Otherwise, we will get a future dominated by a single set of appalling planning and non-planning decisions, in which the economic well-being of this country will be held to ransom by a single traffic island smaller than Croke Park.
Minister: this is not an exaggeration. The RCR is already the seventh circle of hell for much of the day. When Luas enters its orbit of lunacy, then there could be no end to its authority.
It will become the single most powerful point in the entire country, able to paralyse traffic in any number of directions. And you know that once paralysis has set into a traffic system, clearing its point of origin changes nothing. A traffic jam is a self-renewing entity, as gridlock begets itself like a virus.
We can rake over the past and make party political points galore out of this in the Dáil and meanwhile drift into the boundless, lightless tunnels ahead. Or we can begin to deal with it now with compulsory purchase orders of lands currently zoned for both agricultural and residential purposes, paying handsomely if need be. Objectors - yes, and those vile, corrupt county councillors who have helped pave the way for this nightmare - must be dealt with ruthlessly.
Frankly, it doesn't matter if we find an intact Roman colosseum two feet underground, for the living are far more important than the dead. The Carrickmines Castle affair has provided a diseased exercise in ancestor-worship. Meanwhile, thousands of real, living taxpayers who have to get their children to school and go to work will twice-daily be put through an utter and indefinite torment because of the "environmentalist" victory there.
The Red Cow is the most pressing issue in the land - which is the reason why no-one is talking about it. That said, into the bin I go. . .