NEWTON'S OPTIC:UNDER THE Prohibition of Incitement to Hatred Act, a hate-crime can only be directed "against a group of persons on account of their race, colour, nationality, religion, ethnic or national origins, membership of the Travelling community or sexual orientation".
So how could Portraitgate artist Conor Casby be charged with incitement to hatred, as gardaí have suggested? Fianna Fáilers have no discernible sexuality as a group, or as individuals in most cases.
They do claim to be more Irish and Catholic than everyone else, but if nationality and religion were a basis for such charges, everyone else would be in custody already.
Could Fianna Fáilers constitute a separate race, colour or ethnicity? This is a more promising line of inquiry.
One only has to picture the typical Fianna Fáiler to realise they have distinct physical characteristics. There is, to be blunt, something of the bog about them.
We all know what Brendan Behan meant when he described gardaí as “lured down from the hills with raw meat”. We all have just as vivid a mental image of Fianna Fáilers, lured in from the country by raw power. Their red faces and rotund frames are usually ascribed to drinking and over-eating.
Their short tempers and defensive postures are usually blamed on the frustrations of the intellectually inadequate.
But could there be a biological basis? What else, apart from their seats, might be hereditary? Sadly, this question is as outdated as the hunting and dissection which would once have answered it. Race is now recognised as an entirely social construct, so Fianna Fáilers are a racial group if we agree that they are.
Ethnicity offers the best route out of this circular argument. According to the Encyclopedia Britannica, an ethnic group identifies itself through “perceived cultural distinctiveness” in “language, music, art, styles, literature, family life, religion, ritual, food, naming, public life and material culture”.
Do Fianna Fáilers identify themselves in this manner? Experience strongly suggests that they do. Indeed, the party’s response to Portraitgate displayed a distinctly Fianna Fáil take on every cultural category.
When the Taoiseach’s press officer called the head of RTÉ to complain, he spoke in Irish, making a political point with language as only Fianna Fáilers can.
When gardaí were sent into Today FM in Dublin, it was clear that Fianna Fáilers prefer music-oriented radio.
In the days that followed, Fianna Fáilers took an equally clear line on art, style, literature, family life, religion and those who enjoy their food – or at least they went through a ritual of doing so, although this also counts as ethnic self-identification.
Finally, they succeeded in having Casby named in public life. Fianna Fáil’s unique approach to material culture requires no further elaboration.
It appears that Portraitgate could be a hate-crime if Fianna Fáil perceives itself as an ethnic group. This is not a circular argument, because ethnicity is defined as self-defining.
On the other hand, ethnicity comes from the Greek word ethnos, meaning tribe, so Fine Gael might have a better claim to the title.
It is all terribly confusing. Perhaps things would be clearer if, for the lawful purposes of hatred, Fianna Fáilers were in a category all of their own.