We're just parents who can't say no

Giving in to children's demands for 'bad' foods is at the heart of the rising obesity problem, writes Kate Holmquist.

Giving in to children's demands for 'bad' foods is at the heart of the rising obesity problem, writes Kate Holmquist.

Pester power isn't a matter of life and death when it comes to runners and toys, but in the matter of food it can be. Parents have heard it ad nauseum, but for the sake of clarity: one in four girls and one in five boys in the five-to-12 age group is overweight or obese, putting them at risk of leading a life dominated by weight problems, type two diabetes, heart disease, joint pain and even some cancers.

Many children, regardless of weight, are deficient in vitamins, calcium and iron because they're eating very little fresh fruit and vegetables and not drinking enough milk, the Irish Universities Nutrition Alliance's Scientific Study on Children's Diet reported this week. Malnutrition in an age of plenty (cost wasn't a factor for parents) puts children in danger of never reaching their mental and physical potential.

And all because parents can't say No.

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The Scientific Study on Children's Diet shows exercise is adequate for most children: the problem is that parents are feeding their children nutrient-poor, calorie-rich foods. Parents provide 90 per cent of children's food in the home and have control over the remaining 10 per cent, which includes school lunches. The contents of the shopping trolley, not the school or the local burger joint, determine children's nutritional health, says Prof Albert Flynn of UCC, who led the research.

Parents are giving children 18 per cent of their calorie intake (and 21 per cent of fat) in the form of biscuits, crisps and confectionery.

Dairy products make up just 15 per cent of their calories because children don't drink milk any more, preferring sugary fruit drinks (7 per cent of calories). Children eat meat that is mostly processed (providing 15 per cent of calories and 19 per cent of fat intake) and potatoes are going out of fashion, providing just 8 per cent of calories. Bread and cereals account for the largest proportion of calories (21 per cent), although the bread is limited to two slices of white pan a day, on average and, combined with the nature of the cereals, result in diets too low in fibre.

Replacing juice with fresh fruit, soft drinks with water, white bread with brown, eliminating biscuits and not taking five- to 12-year-olds food shopping, would go a long way to revolutionising the average family's diet.

ANY PARENT COULD probably tell you that. Because 98 per cent of Irish parents say that they are aware of what their children should be eating, but at the same time 80 per cent also say that their children's dislikes and likes are the biggest barrier to feeding them properly. Marketing research shows that children influence two-thirds of family food budgets, which makes pester power highly profitable for the food industry.

Michael O'Shea of the Irish Heart Foundation defends parents, saying: "It's difficult for parents to play an effective role, given the toxic environment." The European Heart Network and the National Obesity Taskforce blame massive marketing aimed at children for creating children's unhealthy appetites.

There's no arguing with that, but what about parenting skills? There's a general trend towards parents being reluctant to say No to lots of things, not just bad foods. Previous generations of parents put dinner on the table and if the children didn't like it, tough. Brown bread and butter would have to do. If you wanted to get to school, you walked (eight out of 10 primary school children are driven to school now, even though 50 per cent live within a mile of school).

Today, mother is likely to have been working outside the home all day and when she comes home, she doesn't want a battle over the evening meal. Far easier to buy convenience foods that children like and be done with it. And when mother feels guilty about working outside the home, special treats such as chocolate seem to convey a message of love.

The relationship between food and love is ancient, but feeding children in ways that will lead to ill-health in the long term isn't love, it's giving in. Parents need support, say the authors of the Scientific Study on Children's Diet, although what kind of support has yet to be decided. Saying No certainly would be easier if the marketing monolith didn't have children panting for "virtual foods" that offer calories but little else.

Prof Flynn suggests that while schools are not implicated in children's unhealthy diets, since we don't have school lunches or vending machines in primary schools, schools could educate children more about food. Creating wise consumers among five- to 12-year-olds could help reduce the pester power that turns the family shopping trip into a guilt trip.

But consumer responsibility is for parents too. Parents who wouldn't let their children walk to school for fear of the risks are taking long-term risks with their children's health because they lack the confidence to say No. Perhaps the support parents really need has more to do with having the confidence to act like parents.