LETTER FROM TALLINN: Insecure Santas who need to brush up on their ho-ho-hos should get on their sleigh and head to Estonia.
Around 60 red-suited visitors will descend on the seaside town of Pärnu this morning for the Third Annual Santa Convention. There is no "Santa clause" that lays down in law how the bearded one should be, but organisers say there are minimum Santa standards.
"We want to teach Santas how to look and act," says Mr Ullar Meviste, organiser of the convention. "They must be behave correctly at all times because we don't want any disappointed children."
Most of the bearded guests come from Estonia, Finland and Sweden. "We also have a very special guest this year from Nigeria, a black Santa in traditional costume," says Mr Meviste.
Delegates will take part in a Beautiful Beard competition, and will be the guests of honour in the Santa Parade during the weekend festival. Other attractions include a Santa magician, an "icicle song contest" and the Best Christmas Tree competition.
The Santas are leaving their sleighs behind, so anyone who needs to get around will need a ride in the Gingerbread carriage.
Christmas is a very special time in Estonia, particularly as it has only been a public holiday since 1988. During the 40-year Soviet occupation, authorities actively discouraged religious life so Christmas celebrations were low-key and private.
Estonian families come together on December 24th for a big meal of blood sausages similar to black pudding, pork, potatoes, sauerkraut, cranberry sauce and dumplings, all washed down with a stout-like beer.
Later in the evening, young children put their Christmas stockings in the window and, if they've been good, receive a visit from Jóuluvana, the "Christmas man" who brings them gifts.
Everyone knows the real Santa Claus visits Irish children personally, but in Estonia he has to sub-contract out the work to children's uncles and neighbours. Not all children are fooled.
"One year when I was five, I told the Christmas Man that he sounded very much like my grandmother," remembers Andry Ruumet. "That was the last time the Christmas man came to our house."
The beautiful Estonian capital is even more magical at this time of year. The old buildings are lit up, and a huge Christmas tree stands in the middle of the town square. The crisp air smells of gingerbread and mulled wine, and the wooden huts of the Christmas market sell fur coats, woolen hats and more wooden toys than Gay "Lasts a Lifetime" Byrne would know what to do with.
Outside the Santa Post Office, Santa Claus is giving sweets to a little girl who has just sung him a song. "I don't know the name of the song; it was a song about snow. We have a lot of those in Estonia," says Santa. "I won't be able to make the Santa convention this weekend, but I don't mind."
People in the Christmas market are in good spirits, but the traders don't appear to be doing a roaring trade.
Estonians have been through a lot in the decade since independence. Shock economic therapy wiped out many people's savings, and, though the economy is now in relatively good shape, ordinary wages have not kept pace with rising prices.
"What I would like for Christmas this year is that the price of bus tickets to Tartu would come down so I could see my girlfriend more often," says Mihkail, a student.
He says he is looking forward to Christmas but, like most people here, his mind is on another date: May 1st next year when Estonia and nine other countries join the EU.
"The EU is coming, and I hope everything goes smoothly," says Mihkail. "But I have this feeling that with the EU will come an economic crash, and prices will rise out of control."
Lia Kuuvits, a middle-aged woman, also mentions the EU without being asked. "I don't want anything for myself, just that living standards here will improve," she says. "People are hoping that joining the EU will make standards better.
"It won't happen right at the start, but will take a long time. I wonder will people be able to wait that long?"
Onstage nearby, six men called After 6 don gold wigs and entertain the crowd with their rendition of Wannabe from the Spice Girls.
Six months ahead of EU accession, the song is loaded with double meaning here in Estonia, a confident country that is impatiently waiting for its chance to move beyond its Soviet past and embrace Europe.
"If you want my future, forget my past. If you wanna get with me, better make it fast."
