The people of Seoul who poured into the National Cemetery yesterday to remember those who died in the 1950-1953 Korean War had something positive to reflect on this year - the possibility that next week's first-ever summit between North and South Korea could bring a thaw in the last major Cold War confrontation, which had divided the Korean peninsula for half a century.
"I think the summit is a good thing," said Mr Park Jong-chul (59) who was spending National Memorial Day sitting alone beside granite headstone No 18318, where his brother Park Jong-hee, killed in action on May 11th, 1951, is buried.
"My father and my two older brothers were killed by the Communists," he said. "I hate North Korean people for that, but I am trying to bury that emotion. It is time now for frank talking."
This sentiment was shared by many other people who had come to picnic in the hot sunshine and place tokens of food and glasses of fiery distilled rice wine known as soju before some of the identical headstones in the vast, hilly graveyard.
"We should embrace the North Koreans and open our minds and hearts to them," said Mr Shim Jaek-yoo (50), who was remembering his dead father, just before a 21-gun salute boomed around the slopes, followed by a siren to mark a minute's silence for the two million casualties of the war.
"I haven't thought of the North Koreans as enemies for such a long time," he said as the siren's wail died away. "There is a new generation there now."
North and South Korea remain technically at war and the 13 million residents of Seoul are within range of 10,000 North Korean artillery guns, but any residual fear of attack has dissipated in the improving atmosphere.
Not so long ago cultural exchanges between the two sides were taboo, but last week a group of children performers from the North Korean capital, Pyongyang, staged several enchanting performances before ecstatic audiences in the Seoul Arts Centre. This was the first-ever North Korean goodwill trip to South Korea, and was followed by the visit this week of the famous Pyongyang Circus, also playing to packed houses.
They are aimed at creating a friendly atmosphere in the run-up to the June 12th-14th meeting in Pyongyang between North Korea's leader, Mr Kim Jong-il, and Seoul's President, Mr Kim Dae Jung.
North Korea is suddenly almost fashionable in the South. A well-known defector, Mr Ahn Hyuk, who fled to Seoul from the North eight years ago, has produced a compact disc of popular North Korean songs, and a car company had produced a new model called the "Summit". North Korea has taken down a propaganda sign at the demilitarised border and replaced it with one saying, "Oppose fratricidal conflict".
President Kim will tomorrow meet US President Clinton in Tokyo on the fringes of a funeral service for the former Japanese prime minister Keizo Obuchi, to discuss issues likely to arise at the summit. Mr Kim told parliament in Seoul that he would stress a step-by-step approach in solving inter-Korean issues at what he described as "the greatest and first such event in 55 years". "We strongly oppose communism," he said. "But we are standing at an historic juncture where our brethren on both sides must move away from the age of animosity and confrontation to an era of understanding and co-operation. The time has come to promote inter-Korean peace and stability amid reconciliation and co-operation and to prepare for eventual reunification."
The US took a cautious position yesterday over North Korea's attempt to ease decades of diplomatic isolation ahead of next week's first summit with South Korea. "The hermit kingdom has become the hyperactive kingdom," the US Assistant Secretary of State for East Asian and Pacific Affairs, Mr Stanley Roth, said.