"No, I am not going to Punchestown," a Dublin matron announced earlier this week, "because I hate horses."
She need not have troubled herself over the matter. Yesterday it was perfectly possible to spend an entire afternoon at Punchestown and not see a race, let alone a horse running in one. Presumably, some equine-loving punters were at the course, eagerly studying their favourites' weight, form and overall performance.
But inside the grandiosely named reserved enclosure, these qualities were mostly being applied to the many women who had taken considerable trouble over their appearance.
Wednesday is Ladies' Day at Punchestown and more than anything else that now means an opportunity to recycle old wedding outfits; there certainly seemed to be a lot of mother-of-the-bride dresses and coats on show. This season, these are most frequently topped by what looks like an inverted flowerpot in woven straw.
"That woman looks like a lamp-stand," pronounced a man as one such ensemble glided past. Being French and exuding sartorial authority, he was permitted this criticism, but Irish males were more circumspect, limiting themselves to expressions of disappointment that hats make kissing a woman difficult.
All kisses were of the social variety, of course, because the reserved enclosure tends to encourage reserved behaviour. So at a lunch party hosted by the Louis Vuitton fashion house, guests picked politely at their plates and tried to make vaguely horsy conversation so as not to appear totally fraudulent.
Those who chose to place bets did so on the basis of either the jockey's colours - the winner of the fourth race wore yellow and purple, very spring/summer 2000 - or else the runner's name. In the second race, several women did well after opting to back What's Up Boys, which came in at odds of 6/1. And then, quite unexpectedly, for the day's main event, the Gold Cup, a genteel assembly was collectively transformed into Eliza Dolittle as screams and roars greeted another victory for the father/son team of Ted and Ruby Walsh.
It was noted that the latter, aside from riding Commanche Court was also wearing the perennially favourite summer colours of dark blue and white. The same shades were seen shortly afterwards in the Parade Ring on some of the eight women short-listed for the title of Best Dressed Lady.
Although her triumph was greeted with less rapture than that of the Walsh family, Mary McAleer of Ranelagh, Dublin, appeared happy with a £1,500 voucher from the Design Centre.