Boomerang back to the past . . . relive the shake and burn, hitching and talking to plants, writes KEVIN COURTNEY
Hitch-hiking"Goodbye, Mum and Dad, I'm off to hitch-hike across Europe." If your 16-year-old said that to you, would you bat an eyelid? If instead of Europe it was the hippie trail to Kathmandu, stoned on Afghani black, in the company of a strange, bearded guru, would you perhaps put your newspaper down for a few seconds to grunt your disapproval? There was a time when sticking your thumb out didn't mean sticking your neck out, and any free lift was accepted with gratitude. If we missed the last bus home from the disco, we'd hitch. If we missed the last train to Galway, we'd hitch. What's the worst that could happen? Some mad fella might bore you stupid about Haughey fleecing the country, then try and sell you his own sister.
Talking to plantsPlants have feelings too, we were reliably informed, and they can hear us.
Therefore, you should talk to your plants, so they won't feel so lonely. We never realised.
We were also informed that plants cry out when plucked or mistreated, although at a frequency undetectable to the human ear. Soon, though, we will be able to hear them scream, we were assured, because scientists are developing special audio technology. Can't be long before we're discussing philosophy with our geraniums, and hotly debating the US presidential race with our rhododendrons. What's that you say, Clematis? Rubbish?
Outdoor aerobics"Okay, ladies, we're going for the burn. Shake those tushies, and don't pay attention to all those people staring at you. They're just jealous cos we're so buff." In the 1980s, it wasn't unusual to see a bunch of ladies in Lycra, leggings and Farah Fawcett hairdos lining up in a public place to jump up and down to Flashdance while a Jane Fonda drill sergeant-type barked out orders and counted to four. Like some strange Soviet bloc ritual, these flashdancing flashmobs would pop up at shopping malls, in parks and along beachfronts, their repetitive chants ringing out like a mantra of conformity. Perhaps it was performance art - and we just didn't get the irony.
Throwing boomerangsSo, let me get this straight: you throw this stick as hard as you can - and it turns around and comes right back to you! Amazing! Boomerangs were used by the Aborigines in Australia to hunt for wild fowl. If the boomerang missed its target, it would fly back to its owner, giving him a second chance to nail the bird. Jackie Byham came across these weapons, and reckoned they'd make fun toys, so he brought them to Melbourne during the 1956 Olympics and sold 5,000 of them. US company Wham-O turned boomerangs into big business, but the bendy sticks couldn't throw off their inherent flaw - the were strictly a one-person toy. You couldn't throw a boomerang to someone else - a distinct disadvantage when trying to get friendly with a girl at the beach. Luckily, Wham-O came up with the Frisbee, and the continued propagation of the human race was secured.