DON'T be in awe of Helmut Kohl, he's just one of the boys. Why, he doesn't even use a state car. A hired bus was the Federal Chancellor's preferred mode of transport from Dublin Airport to Government Buildings and beyond.
In politically correct terms, the Chancellor is "gravitationally gifted" and he apparently finds buses less of a squeeze than limousines.
Remember the Popemobile? Now meet the Helmutmobile. "He likes space and he wants to have a look at the country," ban official from the German embassy explained.
By all accounts it threw some of the "snappers" waiting to photograph the motorcade. They had their cameras trained on the cars when who should they see at the window of the bus but Dr Kohl.
The Dail was in its Sunday best for the King of Europe. Fianna Fail may be low in the polls but it scored in the fashion stakes. Mary O'Rourke was resplendent in patriotic green with a gold brooch in the shape of a scimitar. Maire Geoghegan Quinn's Salthill tan was nicely set off by a cerise two piece. Brian Cowen in a lime green lounge suit was the Coolest Offalyman Ever.
The Ceann Comhairle's speech of welcome was the talking point of the day. Not since the funeral oration of Brian Born, not since Goll Mac Morna gave the best man's speech at Fionn Mac Cumhaill's stag party, has there been such praise heaped upon the head of a public figure.
The Chancellor would go down in history as "one of the great statesmen of the 20th century" who, among other feats, had "lifted Germany up from the ashes and achieved an economic miracle". Where that leaves Konrad Adenauer is another day's work. Enbarrassed, the Chancellor protested that he didn't want to be in the history books: "I feel very much alive and well."
Since its inception, the Dail has been waiting for a leader to come along and tell the story of how the country was united at long last. This has now happened except that the country in question was Germany and the founders of the Dail had a place nearer home in mind.
Some of his critics would say Charlie Haughey didn't do enough to bring about a united Ireland, but Helmut Kohl could not praise Charlie enough for his contribution to German unification, which took place when Haughey was president of Europe.
At first sight, the Chancellor looks owlish and slightly bewildered, but his speaking manner is relaxed and avuncular and he has a sense of humour, too.
"Is monetary union unstoppable?" a reporter asked at his Berkeley Court press conference. "That's not a question," Dr Kohl replied, "it's a statement." What was he doing in Ireland on the anniversary of German unity? "There's a first time for everything," quoth quick as a flash Helmut.
Uncle Helmut slaps you on the back, tells you not to worry about the single currency and invites you into his "Common European House".
The newly slimmed down John Bruton was dwarfed beside the Chancellor, who is a living tribute to the famed culinary skills of his wife, Hannelore, who accompanied him everywhere yesterday. She is to publish a high calorie cookbook of German recipes shortly and we are told her husband's favourite dish is stuffed pork belly served with sauerkraut stewed in lard.
Wait till he tries our colcannon and crubeens with a pint of plain to wash them down.