The beauty of setting ourselves realistic goals

MIND MOVES: Academic achievements are but one way that we can come to know ourselves

MIND MOVES:Academic achievements are but one way that we can come to know ourselves

AS MANY of you are aware, we are now entering a time that is for many, one of change and uncertainty. No, I'm not talking about the recession, I'm talking about the Leaving Cert results.

The run up to the results can be a difficult time of year for students and parents alike. For many, the years of listening to the often excessively hyped talk about how it will determine their future have taken their toll before results day comes around.

When the day finally arrives, there can be a moment of panic for every student, as he or she stands there holding their results sheet, counting and re-counting numbers to see if they are enough to step into whatever future they had imagined for themselves.

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Each year we hear reports of bright-eyed students dancing down Leeson Street proud and relieved to have made it through this rite of passage. We don't see those who are at home, disappointed and lost, wondering, "where to from here?"

Thankfully, my Leaving Cert results day has long passed, but it is only now that I can wholeheartedly agree with Oscar Wilde when he said: "It is well to remember that nothing that is worth learning can be taught."

Although academic achievements are important, they are only one of the many ways we can come to know ourselves, and develop our abilities.

Shortly after completing the Leaving Cert, I decided to undertake the most testing venture of my life - Gaisce, the President's Award (Gold Medal). This endeavour requires the participant to set and achieve goals in four categories: physical, community, skill and adventure.

One must be extremely careful in setting Gaisce goals because there's no going back. But that is the thing that is unique about this award. Nobody is pressuring you to do anything, your future career doesn't depend on achieving the medal. You don't have to consume any textbooks or regurgitate useless pieces of information on to a piece of paper. These goals are personal; they are set by you, for you, and are probably the most difficult to achieve. The consequences of failing to achieve are hefty. You are letting down the most important person - yourself.

When I began two years ago, I decided to run a marathon; a cool achievement, I thought, until I realised just how far 26.2 miles was. At that time, I couldn't run for 10 minutes.

This was the point where I learned the beauty of setting realistic goals, and of engaging the support of others to get there. If you share your goals with others, you are sharing a very special part of yourself and people will pull together to do everything they can to help you achieve these goals. In this case, a neighbour talked to a work colleague who spoke to a friend of a friend, and soon I was running with some of Ireland's leading marathon runners.

Then I learned another lesson - nothing happens overnight. Just as quickly as we plot our goals, walls spring up around us. But stick with it, as it is by standing on those walls that we get a clearer view of the road before us. It took two years of hardship and humility to get to the start line of that marathon.

Setting "Smart" goals (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, timely) kindles a quiet confidence in oneself. Each success, no matter how small, builds our self-confidence.

Choosing personal goals is the first step. Putting in place those stepping-stones that support you on the way to achieving your goals requires some thought and effort. What materials, physical resources will be required to help you get there? Who are the people - for me, my running friends - you can count on to keep you on track? These "external" resources are just as important as your "inner" resources to get you over the line. Over the past year, I have come to believe in myself more, simply because I didn't give u:; I have overcome difficulties that might have held me back before. I now have a deeper appreciation for friends who stick with you when the going is tough, and I've learned how to juggle time-consuming goals with school, college or work commitments.

Pursuing goals and overcoming obstacles along the way turns out to be an amazing journey of self-discovery. You get to know intimately your own strengths and limits, and you learn to make friends with both. And with each setback and defeat, you're given a chance to grow in some new way that you may not have believed was possible.

Emma Farrell is a youth adviser to Headstrong - The National Centre for Youth Mental Health ( www.headstrong.ie ). Contact: info@headstrong.ie