In my stand-up comedy act, I sometimes wear a t-shirt with a slogan that says: "Get some Therapy!" I'm sure this advice has helped many audience members, so I've been taking my own medicine.
Part-time comedian and writer, Priscilla Robinson (right) is in therapy. In the first of a series, she shares observations from the couch
Therapy is scary. Sometimes your therapist is the scariest thing about it. Personally I think it is good to be a little bit scared. So don't be afraid to Be Afraid, even if your therapist calls this a defensive behaviour.
I had one therapist who scared me right from the start. She was saying stuff like: "What colour is the lump in your throat?" and "If the lump could talk what would it say?" and "I think I could really work with you." After three minutes I had decided she was insane.
While she got enmeshed in questions about my lump, I kept thinking, "what lump?". (Don't be afraid to question your therapist even if they label it denial.) I realised that if I did engage with her on the lump question, there would be too many possibilities. What if there is more than one lump and I pick the wrong one to discuss? Or choose a less significant one? What if there's a whole family of lumps and she is only noticing one?
I stared behind her into her garden, pretending to think deeply. Really I wanted to avoid eye contact. But I made it with someone else, a two-foot gnome in the middle of the lawn. The lump wasn't saying much but this guy started talking and, like most males, he began with himself.
"Do you know the meaning of the word gnome? Well I'll tell you. It means a person of sinister influence, especially financial," - the Little Oxford Dictionary. He was pointing at the therapist when he said all this so I put it in her language.
"OK Counsellor, the lump has been talking. He told me that gnomes are very wise, so I have been listening to the little fella outside and he says you are a sinister, money grabbing hoax, and that I should get out now with my money and my mind intact."
My therapist nodded me to the door and later I wondered if she had been deliberately winding me up. Maybe she was from the "pretending I am a bad counsellor so you can get in touch with your anger much more quickly" school of therapy. Still, you can never be too afraid. My advice is, before you sign up for your first session, speak with the gnome.