THAT'S MEN:Wide range of emotions felt by unemployed, writes PADRAIG O'MORAIN
RAGE, bereavement, embarrassment, hopelessness but ultimately a sense of belonging and usefulness – that’s the range of emotions experienced by one man who wrote to me in the wake of last week’s column on the health implications of unemployment.
This man had worked for the same company for 40 years when it closed. Not surprisingly, the workplace had come to feel like home. “My own analysis of the situation was that I had become so involved in the company that I ‘owned’ it. My uncomfortable feeling was based on the years of effort and diligence that I had applied to keep my job.
“There were some moments over the years when the company was under threat, but there was always a solution, so the final closing was unexpected. We were not given any options to save the company. We lost ‘our company’ and it was a cause of stress for us all.”
Though money was not a major concern, this man nonetheless went through some very painful emotions. “The initial reaction that I had was a sense of outrage. As I have almost completed my mortgage and my family have almost completed their education, the loss of income was not my first concern.
“In fact, my concern was for some of my colleagues who were hit much harder than I was. Because of my role in the company I was kept on for some months. When I was let go there were just a few employees still employed. Walking out on my own was so difficult. At the time I described it as a bereavement. In fact, I felt worse than when a relative had died previously.”
It was not long before outrage gave way to other emotions, not only as a result of signing on but also because he was no longer the main breadwinner in the home.
“After signing on for the first time the feeling of hopelessness started. I felt useless at home. The role of breadwinner was gone, leaving my wife the task of providing for the household.
“My family were very good at trying to keep me busy because they noticed my change of mood. I would say that I was in the early stages of depression.”
For him, education was the way out of the depression and this is useful for any unemployed person to bear in mind. It is also important that the government keeps in mind the necessity of continuing to fund education and training for unemployed people – for the sake of their health and wellbeing as well as that of the economy.
“After applying and being accepted for a course, things started to improve. I now had a place to go each day. The lecturers made each student appreciate their own value. The new social group in class helped ease the pain. Now I feel useful again and hope to get a job next year when I have graduated.”
Notice the psychological benefits of the course – the sense of things being worthwhile, thanks to the efforts of the lecturers, and the value of the social group which the class constituted.
Teachers of all kinds feel themselves under severe pressure in terms of pay and conditions at present. In the middle of the negativity which this generates, I would urge them also to take the time to reflect on the boost they give to people like this man.
This story should also be reflected on by those who put forward the view that the unemployed need to be forced back to work by having life made progressively more difficult for them.
That line was peddled with great gusto in the 1980s – yet when the economy started its progression to the miracle we enjoyed (and it was a miracle until the greedy destroyed it) the unemployed flocked gladly into the workplace.
So let’s have respect for people who have lost their jobs in this rotten recession and who want nothing more than to be back in the workplace again.
Padraig O'Morain (pomorain@ireland.com) is a counsellor accredited by the Irish Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy. His book, Light Mind - Mindfulness for Daily Living,is published by Veritas. His mindfulness newsletter is free by e-mail