That's men for you: Marriage, as anyone who has spent more than a few days in that institution knows, provides opportunities for conflict and disagreement.
But conflict and disagreement do not, in themselves, wreck marriages. If they did, there would not be a marriage left intact on the planet.
When conflict and disagreement lead to the end of a marriage, it is not usually because the conflict occurred. It is more likely to result from what happened after the conflict.
If the couple can recover from the conflict then, usually, all is well. That there will be more conflicts in the future is neither here nor there.
Human beings are prone to fighting with each other, especially with those closest to them. In that respect we may be the dumbest species on earth.
Those who attempt to advise people on how to deal with conflict in marriage sometimes make what, in my opinion, is the mistake of focusing on avoiding conflict in the first place.
And sometimes their suggestions are a long way removed from reality, especially from a man's viewpoint. One standard piece of advice is to listen carefully while your partner is criticising you and then to repeat back the partner's criticism just to ensure you've got it right.
So we men, having had our faults listed out by our enraged partners, are supposed to say something like the following:
"Let me just make sure that I've got it right, dear. I am a lazy, good-for-nothing hound who contributes nothing whatsoever to the running of the household, gives a bad example to his children, a man whom no sensible, sane woman would put up with and who ought to be ashamed of himself in general for the rest of his life. Have I got that right and would you like to add anything to it, at all?"
Can you see that happening? Neither can I.
The thing is, it is impossible to avoid conflict in a marriage and even if you tried to reflect back what the other person said you'd probably get it wrong and end up having a blazing row anyhow.
According to Dr John Gottmann, one of the best-known researchers on long-term relationships in the United States, the key thing about conflict in marriage is what comes after the row.
The marriages that last, he suggests, are those in which somebody makes a gesture of some kind after the row to repair the damage that was done.
Now, what's a gesture? Well, it could be caring for somebody, like asking them what they would like to eat, asking them if you can help them with something, making a joke (a very carefully chosen joke, let me add), complimenting the person and so on. That's a gesture.
What about saying "Sorry", you may ask? What about chocolates and flowers?
Well, yes. But you know there are many people who find it really, really hard to say sorry and indeed there are people who are never going to say sorry no matter how sorry they actually feel.
And chocolates and flowers bought at the wrong time may end up in the bin, if not someplace even worse.
For many of us men, who are not as comfortable talking about our feelings as women are, making some sort of gesture of the kind previously mentioned is the way for us to signal that the conflict is at an end and that we want to move on.
Women, usually, will know what the gesture means. Equally, if the woman makes the gesture, it is important that the man recognises it and is able to accept it and move on.
So it doesn't really matter that you have rows. Nor does it matter that you have silences after rows. What matters is that one or the other of you is able to make some gesture of reconciliation and that the other is able to accept it and to get on with life.
So, think gestures. They count and they could save your marriage.
Padraig O'Morain is a journalist and counsellor accredited by the Irish Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy.