Wynneing Ways: The pursuit of happiness is as old as humankind. American researcher Dr Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi has spent much of his career studying happiness.
According to his findings, people worldwide tend to describe themselves as more happy than unhappy.
He found that Swiss and Norwegians consider themselves happier than Greeks and Portuguese. The Irish believe themselves to be happier than the Japanese.
Since the 1960s an international group of social scientists have been collecting data for a project called World Values Survey. Their findings are that happiness levels increase in direct relation to economic development until a country achieves prosperity roughly equivalent to that of Ireland.
Past that point, there seems to be hardly any direct link between prosperity and happiness. Once you are above the poverty line, money contributes less and less to your happiness. Winning the lottery only gives a boost for a few months. After the euphoria wears off, some winners find they are less happy than they were before they became rich.
It is impossible to specifically define happiness. For one person, it's the ability to feel satisfied and content with life. For another, it has to do with fun and freedom. For others, it's the absence of stress or illness or money worries.
However you define it, happiness is an indicator of your overall degree of emotional intelligence and emotional functioning. The capacity for happiness is influenced by your ability to read situations accurately and to be aware of what's going on in you and around you.
Self-awareness - the ability to identify what you are thinking and how you are feeling - is key to recognising the irrational self-talk that has the potential to destroy happiness.
Remember the two men who looked out through prison bars. One saw mud and the other saw stars. The implied message is that if only the guy who was looking at the ground would look up he would experience the beauty of the night sky and this positive experience would make him happy.
You seldom hear anyone suggest that the man looking at the stars would also benefit if he looked at the mud. When you have the full picture, you have more choices.
Your perception and expectations make an event positive or negative. Let me illustrate how easy it is to change a positive experience into an unhappy one that is disempowering.
Have you ever been so totally involved in what you were doing that you lost track of time? When this happens for me I feel happily engrossed.
Csikszentmihalyi suggests that people who become so focused and absorbed reach a "heightened state of consciousness, an almost euphoric state of mind". His expert view makes me question my perception and my experience.
His words hold enticing possibilities. They make me rate an experience that was pleasant and satisfying before I heard the description "euphoric state of mind" as a poor second.
When I read the words "heightened state of consciousness" I give them a meaning. This may be what Csikszentmihalyi intended but more likely it reflects my assumptions about what he intended.
My feelings are my internal response to my beliefs. If I exalt the concept of a "euphoric state of mind" and believe it is superior to "feeling engrossed", I upset myself with this comparison.
I question why I'm not having this wonderful experience of euphoria, although I have no idea of what specifically it is. Much unhappiness is self-created by such illogical thinking.
Isn't it true that it is I who destroy my own happiness? I create feelings of inadequacy when I compare my real experience with the fantasy illusion of an imagined "euphoric state" and find the experience wanting.
Reality testing is a skill of emotional intelligence that challenges illogical thinking. By observing my internal dialogue I come to understand that my feelings are my emotional response to my thoughts and not to the reality.
I can challenge the disempowering self-talk that make me feel inadequate and miserable by asking "Where is the proof?"
When I have a realistic frame of reference to identify what is real, I hold the key to unlocking my potential for happiness.
Carmel Wynne is a life skills and business success coach; author of Coaching - The Key to Unlocking Your Potential, a master practitioner in neuro linguistic programming (NLP), and a psychotherapist - web: www.carmelwynne.org