A new parenting course offers support to parents in Dublin's Docklands, writes Sylvia Thompson
DEIRDRE MELINN gave up work two years ago to be a fulltime mum to her three children, Karl (13), Paul (10) and Aoife (7).
“In the first few weeks when I was at home full-time, I felt I didn’t know my children – what they liked and didn’t like,” she says. “My seven year old wanted to do everything her own way and I was worried about the transition to secondary school for my older son. The parenting course has helped me to see what I was doing wrong.”
Melinn is honest about her approach to parenting and grateful for what she has learned.
“I thought I was giving my seven year old attention, but I wasn’t. I learned about the importance of eye contact with my children and the importance of stopping and listening to what they are saying to me or showing me,” she explains.
Mary Tierney is a lone parent who works full-time outside the home. “The children and I live with my parents and, when I come home from work, I’m often tired and don’t have the energy to play with Adam (5) and Casey (10). When I did the parenting course, I realised that I wasn’t bonding with my children. Although part of their lives, I was missing out completely,” she explains.
“Tuning into them was the first thing I learned. It sounds like a small step but for us it was a major development. When I come home from work now, I stop and ask Adam how his day was. I’ve learned how to be patient with them and how to deal with tantrums.
“When I see a smile on his face, it warms my heart and Casey feels like she has got her mother back too.”
Melinn and Tierney participated in the pilot phase of a new parenting programme which was launched last week at the National College of Ireland (NCI) in Dublin.
The course is an initiative run by the NCI's Early Learning Initiative and developed from the Parents Plus programme at the Mater Hospital.
"We piloted the programme through schools in Clare, Tipperary, Limerick, Wexford and Dublin last year and now we are offering it to parents for free through schools in the Docklands area of Dublin," explains Catriona Flood, project co-ordinator of the Early Learning Initiative at the NCI.
According to Flood, parents who took part reduced their stress levels and significantly improved their relationships with their children. There was also a reduction in behaviour problems among the children.
The courses, which are two-hour sessions held over six weeks, encourage parents to develop a closer relationship with their children and, by doing so, enable them to manage difficult behaviour, like tantrums or anger outbursts. The NCI will train home school liaison teachers and community-based family workers to facilitate the courses to parents in schools and community centres.
Aodhan O’Riordaín, principal of St Laurence O’Toole primary school for girls in Sheriff St, Dublin, believes that the programme will be supportive to parents of children attending the school.
“Courses like these acknowledge that parenting is difficult. Parents often think that they don’t need help and that they have a good relationship with their children but society is changing so rapidly that every parent needs to know how to maximise the potential of their children. And children react more to parents than to anyone in a school. They love their parents so when education becomes part of the relationship between a parent and a child, the effect is unstoppable.”
“Our focus is on relationship-building and positive discipline which is consistent and respectful of the child,” explains Flood. “Parents have a lot of worries and stresses but, if you develop a good, strong relationship with your children, you will have less discipline problems.”
Flood says that the Parents Plus programme was chosen as the model for developing this shorter, community-based parenting course because it is the only parenting course that includes the experiences of Irish people in its materials.
“All the videos we use for discussion are based on the experiences of Irish families. There are so many great parenting programmes out there at the moment but this one is a good cultural fit. Parents can relate to the accents and mannerisms on the videos,” she explains.
TRAINING THE TRAINERS
THE EARLY Learning Initiative (ELI) at the NCI was launched last January. It is based on the belief that early pre-school education and parental involvement through early learning in the home lay the foundations for educational achievement.
Funded by private sponsorship, the ELI offers home visits to families in the Docklands area and training programmes for parents and childcare staff to help them work together.
The Parents Together programme is the latest project to be launched as part of the ELI's ongoing support for families in the area. The NCI is currently recruiting facilitators to be trained for the programme.
This course will be free for those working in the Docklands area. It will also be offered to teachers and family workers outside this area, for a fee.
The aim is that these facilitators will then go on to teach parents in schools and community centres to run parenting courses for further groups of parents.
See
www.nncirl.ie/elior tel: 01-449 8635 for details.
Meanwhile, parenting courses using the Parents Plus programmes developed by the Department of Child and Family Psychiatry at the Mater Hospital, Dublin are now being offered directly to the public.
See
www.HelpMe2Parent.ieor tel: 087-689 0582 for details.