INDIA’S NORTHERN Punjab state has issued an advisory to young brides to avoid talking too much on their mobile phones for the first two years of marriage as it could make their husbands jealous and lead to divorce.
The Punjab state commission for women last week advised Punjabi brides to “focus on their domestic life instead of having long conversations on mobile phones” as this could be misconstrued by their husbands and in-laws that she was in fact in conversation with another man.
Commission head Gurdev Kaur Sangha, who issued the advisory, said it was designed to avoid suspicion between newlywed couples as they adjusted to life together.
“Almost 90 per cent of newly married men and women [who split up in Punjab] want a divorce because the boy or his family is sure that the girl is talking to another man when, in reality, in a majority of the cases, she is actually taking frequent advice from her own parents [on ways to manage her marriage],” Kaur said.
I squarely blame the mobile phone for many marriage break-ups, she added.
According to social activists, conservative Punjab had seen a 150 per cent increase in the divorce rate which, although not alarmingly high in numbers, is worrisome to many households.
The advent of cable television and mobile telephones, as well as a dramatic increase in provocative advertising aimed at young women and articles in women’s magazines dealing with sexual and matrimonial problems, have greatly empowered Indian women since the 1990s, especially those in well-off Punjab. These factors are thought to have contributed to the rise in divorce figures.
Ms Sangha said she had recorded a rise in complaints from newlywed women about domestic violence, sexual harassment and family discord due to arguments about their being constantly on the phone.
It takes at least two years for a marriage to work, during which a newly married woman should make “small adjustments” and not keep calling her parents for guidance on how to live in harmony, the commission advisory said.
It also cautioned brides against passing on hourly updates to her parents about her new home as it could prove “damaging”. The majority of marriages in Punjab – and the rest of India – are arranged.
Brides are expected to behave in a conventional manner which entailed almost exclusively managing their households, rearing children and looking after their in-laws, a role which, more often than not, leads to discomfiture and acrimony.