The World Cup exists in two parallel universes. One version on the green fields of France, the other on the PC screen in the living room. Both World Cups have got out of hand.
It is possible to absorb every kick, foul and nuance of France 98 without coming into contact with flesh, blood or bobble hats.
Jump in at the virtual deep end then, with a visit to the austere and gimmick-free web site hosted by the Rec.Sport.SoccerStatistics Foundation. (www.risc.uni-linz.ac.at/non-official/rsssf/) If it sounds like a dour eastern European academy of the sciences, well the appearance isn't much better. Never mind the graphics though, feel the stats.
These people are serious about their football and one wonders if they ever get out in the fresh air at all. One section is devoted to historical perspective and analysis of the ranking systems used by FIFA.
Another chronicles the fate of foreign players moving abroad with particular reference to Italy. If you have ever wondered how Icelanders have fared in Serie A here's your big break.
The World Cup 98 stuff isn't that impressive as yet but the foundation boys will come into their own as the tournament progresses analysing the trajectory of corner kicks, the acceleration of managerial depression and the velocity of Gazza's exhaled cigarette smoke.
If the digestive system is still intact after a dose of the RSSSF, another equally comprehensive and sprawling site for addicts is RETE!, an Italian site (www.tin.it/rete) which claims to have 100,000 (slow loading) pages. Also excellent for statistics, although it is designed around a fantasy football game is the Matchfacts site (www.matchfacts.com) which covers the English league in unrivalled detail. If you want to know how many minutes any player in the English league spent on the pitch in the last couple of seasons, it is here in the database.
Their World Cup coverage has been slow kicking off but, once a ball is struck in anger, expect the Mondiale nitty gritty to start appearing.
General sites abound with the official France 98 World Cup site www.france98.com) setting the pace. Lots of fabulous graphics and take-you-by-the-throat designs with scraps of information designed to help those travelling to France or just exercising their curiosity.
Not very gossipy but has a good depth of information. www.worldcup98.co.uk offers a strange train-spotterish site dedicated to covering world cup tournaments of all sports.
Regularly updated, quite comprehensive and a curiosity for those interested in sampling the fruits of a modern misspent youth.
(www.sportsweb.com/ homef98.htm). Best of the World Cup sites for news and the place where the discerning journalist goes when he or she needs to dissemble, bluff or plagiarise. Run by Reuters using the plentiful fruits of its worldwide wire services, it won't please the trainspotters but for sheer breadth of information it's unrivalled.
(www.worldmedia.fr/football), the World Cup Cafe, is a lively site with plenty of team news and sketchy detail on all the players who will be going to France 98, plus betting odds. Nicely laid out and planned with a bit of atmosphere and an ambience which conveys a geniune enthusiasm for football the Cafe is well worth a visit.
Not quite fully into its stride yet but worth looking at (you have to register but it's free) Football 365 at(www.football365.co.uk) is a daily online soccer newspaper designed for those who feel that there isn't enough soccer in the media.
Football 365 is edited by Danny Kelly who presents Channel Four's Under the Moon late night sports programme on Wednesday nights. Don't let that put you off though. The features are good, the breadth of news is impressive and the World Cup updates, thought not instant, are on the button.
FIFA, whose gig the World Cup is after all, have their own worthy site (www.fifa.com) which isn't exactly groaning under the weight of gossip but gives a steady supply of hard information on getting tickets (very hard) and squad announcements. If your quality of life is below a certain qualifying threshold, there are also links to the deadly dull sites of the national federations. The Irish site is still awaiting news of the outcome of Ireland's World Cup play-off with Belgium. You have been warned.
For those of us brought up to regret that we weren't reared in poverty near the Copacobana, juggling a grapefruit with our bare feet, there are soulmates to be found at Brazil, the Land of Soccer (www.jps.net/migutz and drill down), a comprehensive site dedicated to the most beautiful practitioners of the beautiful game.
It has pages in English and Portuguese and a full historical review of Brazilian footie. Ronaldo would be proud.