SEXUAL ATTRACTION is wonderfully intense for young people, but too often passion is mistaken for real love. Wise parents are sensitive when children fall in love, and protect them from teasing siblings who would make fun of them.

First infatuations can occur any time from as young as 10 years of age for girls, and perhaps two years later for boys. Learning to cope with sexuality in an integral and inescapable part of growing up.

No one understands precisely what triggers the sequence of events that starts puberty. The initial message comes from the pituitary gland in the brain. Heredity, nutrition and general health play a part too. No parent should be in any doubt about how extremely sensitive children are about the bodily changes that take place in puberty.

As the sex hormones oestrogen and testosterone are released, girls broaden in the hips, boys in the shoulders. It is helpful to tell girls that "puppy fat" helps them develop a female figure. The extra body fat during puberty goes on the hips, thighs and breasts.

Testosterone builds muscles in boys. Skinny lads who are often very aware of their thinness can double their muscle mass during puberty.

It is understandable that children in the throes of all this development become touchy and sensitive. Adolescents are prone to moody behaviour. There is proven evidence of the effect of hormonal changes in regard to premenstrual tension in girls. Although emotional outbursts will occur, few teenagers turn into the moody, rebellious adolescents most parents dread.

Rising levels of hormones are also responsible for the increased interest in sex that is such a feature of adolescence.

The first flush of sexual attraction will give rise to new, exciting passions. Intense feelings accompany early infatuations. The seeds of romantic and erotic daydreams are lovingly nurtured in private fantasies.

These daydreams fulfil an important function. They allow young people to try out different behaviours in their imaginations. Parents sometimes worry unnecessarily when a child retreats to the bedroom or other private place - psychologists tell us it is important to allow them time alone for "introspective withdrawal".

Early development in puberty is associated with earlier sexual activity. Colman Duggan, a senior social worker in Our Lady's Hospital for Sick Children in Crumlin, Dublin, recently took part in a study in which the childhood experiences of children in the United States were compared with those of Irish children.

He found Irish children referred to experimenting with sex at an earlier age than their American counterparts. Fifty nine per cent of the Irish students and 57 per cent of Americans believed that it was normal for children under the age of 12 to have some sexual experience.

YOUNG PEOPLE are sexually attracted to the other sex long before they are emotionally ready for an intimate relationship. The task of sorting out their sexual feelings and desires is probably much more difficult in this permissive society than it was for any previous generation.

Being head over heels in love involves feelings of rapture for young people. Any parent who has ever had to cope with the euphoria of first love, or the despair of a broken romance, will know how intense those feelings are.

Even before there are any physical signs of puberty, girls and boys are experiencing emotional stirrings related to their changing internal chemistry. Their hormonal changes make them naturally curious about what sex is like.

It may be difficult for some parents to accept that an 11 year old can fall in love and have sexual feelings and desires. Some adults frankly disapprove of giving children explicit information about sexuality. They assume that knowledgeable children will be encouraged to experiment sexually.

The opposite is true. There is a lot of research to show that children who talk to their parents are more likely to delay sexual activity.

Some psychologists believe that a great deal of teenage promiscuity is due to the fact that many young people do not know how to show physical affection in non sexual ways. Surely girls and boys who are old enough to experience sexual attraction are old enough to be educated to refuse sexual intimacy?

When young people are not educated to be sexually assertive, they are vulnerable. Unless they receive good relationships and sexuality education, they will fail to distinguish between love and lust, between their need for physical affection and their desire for sex.

If a child is of the age when peers engage in intimate kissing, she or he is old enough to be pressured to talk and act sexually. Parents cannot protect children from this pressure; however, they can anticipate that it may occur.

They can make sure that both girls and boys learn to understand how easily passion can be mistaken for love - and the consequences of this mistake.